Page 5 of The Christmas Cottage
But she’d already said yes. She couldn’t back out now, not without feeling even more guilty. And a small part of her didn’twantto back out. She thought of snow, and Christmas lights, and small-town cozy festivities, and there was an odd longing mixed up with the anxiety of going to a place like that. A feeling that there was something she’d been missing out on that she could have, just for a little while. Just for a few days. And it would make her grandmother happy.
Letting out a long breath, Vanessa picked up her phone again, finding Russell’s contact. It was right at the top, since he was always calling her. She could feel herself holding her breath as she waited for him to answer the phone, drumming her fingers against the tabletop. Suddenly she felt all of the caffeine from the three coffees she’d drank and simultaneously wanted another. He was going to be upset with her, she knew. She had no idea what she would do if he just flat-out told her no. Fire her? She tried to remind herself that she was invaluable to him, but in that particular moment, it wasn’t sticking.
“Vanessa? Is something wrong with those invoices? I knew there was a reason I asked you to double-check?—”
“Actually,” she interrupted quickly, “the invoices are fine. I just have something I need to tell you?—”
CHAPTER FOUR
Vanessa’s flight arrived on time at the small airport closest to Fir Tree Grove, touching down on Monday around noon. She shivered as she walked outside and looked for a taxi, her one suitcase rolling behind her. She’d bought two new jackets for this trip on account of the cold, one of which was the puffy dove-gray goose-feather coat that she was wearing right then. San Francisco could get chilly with the fog, but it was nothing like this. Despite the puffy coat, and her shearling-lined new Ugg boots that she’d also bought, her leather gloves and the stylish wool beanie with the little white pom that she’d added, she felt like the cold was still finding every available crack in her armor and weaseling its way in.
It had been kind of nice, she had to admit, to have a reason to go shopping. As soon as she’d finished the uncomfortable conversation with Russell, promising him that she’d work every available minute remotely and listening to him castigate her for promising not to take holiday time and then going back on it, she’d finished up her work and coffee and headed to Nordstrom.
It had been… fun.
She’d looked up the temperatures in Maine this time of year, picked out some items without really worrying about the pricetags. Everything in her life was so automated, with no real time allotted to going out or frivolous purchases, that she had plenty of savings to use for exactly a time like this. She’d bought what she thought she needed, a few items that just caught her eye, and then taken herself out to dinner at a little tapas place that she’d always thought would be nice to go to but never actually taken the time to try.
She’d drank white wine and nibbled on Spanish cheese and looked out over the harbor, and considered that maybe a little vacation wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.
But thiswasn’ta vacation, she reminded herself as she shivered, tugging her gloves a little closer to the wrists of her coat. She was in Fir Tree Grove for her grandmother, and to work when she wasn’t spending time with Mabel specifically. This wasn’t time away.
A taxi pulled up to the sidewalk, and Vanessa waved, dragging her suitcase with her, her overnight bag slung over her arm. The driver, a grizzled old man with a salt-and-pepper beard, a craggy complexion and a plain knit beanie pulled low over his head, got out and gave her a once-over that confirmed exactly what she’d thought from the moment she considered going to Fir Tree Grove. She looked out of place, even miles away.
“Where you going, Miss?” he asked, coming around to take her bags as he opened the trunk of the taxi.
“Um—Fir Tree Grove. The Toy Chest, specifically, if you could take me straight there.”
He chuckled, throwing her bags into the trunk so heavily that it made Vanessa wince. “Flew in just to shop for toys?”
“No, um—my grandmother owns it.” She gave him a hesitant smile, and he nodded.
“Oh, I see. Time of year to see family, isn’t it? You come here every year?”
Vanessa felt a small stab of guilt as she slid into the taxi, which smelled faintly of peanuts and salt. “No, actually. I haven’t been back in a while.”
The old man nodded sagely, as if she’d told him everything he needed to know with that one statement, and Vanessa decided that she didn’t actually care to try to correct whatever assumption he might have just made. She had to admit, actually, that it was probably correct. She hadn’t been to visit since she was a child, never of her own accord as an adult, and in a small insular place like this, she imagined there were probably opinions about that kind of thing. They might even be right. But she’d been busy. She’d been focused on making her own life into something she could live with, and if that didn’t include coming back to Fir Tree Grove before this, that was really no one’s business but hers.
The taxi driver turned on the radio, allowingSanta Claus Is Coming To Townto fill the warm space of the cab, and Vanessa tucked her hands into her lap as she started to thaw out, watching the snowy landscape pass by. She hadn’t seen snow since she was a child, and she had to admit it was beautiful. There was an eerie loveliness about the foggy city she lived in, but the bright, sparkling expanse of pristine white was something so entirely different that she couldn’t help but stare at it, drinking it in.
She had wondered if it would feel familiar, coming back, but it didn’t. Not until they reached the town limits, and she saw the old wooden sign at the entrance of town that saidFir Tree Grovein big, looping rustic script. The letters had the look of wood that had been painted over many times, the edges of the sign roughened, but it fit the aesthetic of the town that Vanessa remembered more than a modern, well-kept sign would. At least, she thought she remembered the town that way.
Those memories started to come back, little by little, as the taxi drove past the old sign. Her parents taking a Christmas card photo with her in front of it, and framing a copy of it. It had sat on their mantle in the new apartment in California, for years after they had left. She thought she remembered them going hiking along the trails that wound out beyond the town, into the snowy, hilly woods. She recalled Mabel letting her wander around the toy shop, pointing out her favorites as Mabel helped her make a wish list for Santa. She thought she remembered walking around town with her parents, sipping hot cocoa with peppermint whipped cream and looking at the light displays.
Her chest tightened, and she pressed her lips together. These were the memories she’d been compressing under layers of work and constant busyness for years. Memories that she wasn’t really sure she wanted back. And, as she’d suspected, coming back to Fir Tree Grove was making them all flood in, reminding her of why she’d stayed away.
She wasn’t sure she had enough work to keep all of them at bay. And she couldn’t work every second that she was in town, like she would at home. She was going to have to spend time with Mabel. Talking, reminiscing. Letting herself justbe, instead of keeping her hands and mind busy constantly. None of that was normal for her, and she felt that twisting anxiety again.
The taxi passed by a diner, and Vanessa’s eyes widened as she took in the town as it unfolded in front of her. Even in the middle of the afternoon, it looked as if she’d just crossed over into a Christmas movie. It was clear that car traffic was at a minimum in the town, and kept to very specific roads, as the snow and the drifts that had been plowed were all still pristine.
There was none of the filthy slush or dirty snow that she’d seen in pictures from places like New York or Boston this time of year. Every streetlamp had a wreath hung from it, lights wrapped around the poles, and every single business had adifferent Christmas display. Lights, reindeer, Santas, snowmen—each one seemed carefully curated, as if the owners all went out of their way to see who could have the biggest and best display of holiday cheer.
None of it was tacky though. It was all beautiful, rustic and planned out, and it looked like a Christmas card come to life. She felt like a child gawking out of a window as she leaned forward, feeling as if she didn’t know where to look first. There was the diner with the elaborate light displays and a lit-up wire lumberjack out front, two gold wire reindeer behind him nibbling at the snow. On the other side of the diner there were snowmen, one of them seemingly eating a carrot instead of it being where his nose ought to be.
They passed a bookstore with thick garlands hung out front and a tree visible from one large front window, a chocolatier with lights strung around the windows and holly and poinsettias decorating the steps, and a general store with a huge wreath out front and another snowmen and reindeer display, Santa in a huge sleigh behind the reindeer. The sleigh was full of wrapped presents, lights trailing all over the sleigh and behind it.
All of the displays were incredibly detailed. She could only imagine what it would look like at night, with all the lights blazing.
The taxi pulled up in front of The Toy Chest. It was beautifully decorated too, with window displays of nutcrackers, trains, and Christmas villages, the windows hung with garlands and lights, and a large wreath studded with small wood-carved toys hanging from the door. Vanessa stared at it for a long moment, long enough that the taxi driver cleared his throat.
