Page 131 of Road Trip to Forever
“Nothing before nine,” I say. I push him to the ground and keep my elbow over his upper chest. He could break free from me if he wanted to, but he doesn’t.
“Nine is midday,” he argues, his hand reaching behind me. “I’ll settle for seven-thirty.”
“Seven-thirty? Absolutely not. Eight. That’s my final—”
Patrick smashes a piece of cake into my face.
Buttercream frosting hangs from my nose and whipped cream covers my forehead. A drop of chocolate syrup rolls down my cheek and I stare at him, flabbergasted.
“You are a menace,” I say. “And out of your damn mind.” I reach for the decimated cake, grabbing a handful and smearing it across his chin and cheeks. “Payback is a bitch.”
He laughs, a deep sound I feel behind my ribs and in my chest. He runs his knuckles up my spine and pulls me close, our noses brushing against each other. “God, I love you.”
I freeze. My body goes stiff and rigid in his hold, and a clump of whipped cream falls to the grass. I blink and tilt my head to the side, my world wobbling on its axis with his four words.
“What did you say?” I ask.
I’m waiting for him to take it back. For him to yell out ajust kiddingor pretend it didn’t happen. A heat-of-the-moment declaration with lowered inhibitions and mistaken confessions. Instead, I see Patrick smile, his face alight with glee.
His Exuberant Face.
I’ve seen this one many times before. More frequently, as of late. It’s the same one I get when he glances at me from across the room, making butterflies flutter in my stomach. I can see his teeth. His eyes wrinkle in the corner and his nose scrunches, little lines forming between his eyebrows because he’s sohappy.
“I said I love you, Lola,” he repeats. There’s no reluctancy, no hesitation. He speaks it with his lungs, from his heart and from his soul.
“You love me?”
“I do.”
“You do?”
“Quite a lot, actually.”
“How—” I swallow and take a deep breath. “How much?”
“More than I love anything else in the world. I’ve felt like this for so long and I can’t keep it inside anymore. Not when I want to tell you every single day. It’s been torture to not say it, eating me alive because you deserve to hear it, so I’m finally doing it. I love you, Lola Jones. And I know you might not be in the same place as me yet, and that’s okay. I’m not going to rush you. I just want you to know how incredible I think you are and—”
“I love you too,” I blurt out.
I say it from every part of me that belongs to him. All the pieces that have repaired themselves over the years, fractured fragments stitched back together, healed from Patrick’s friendship and his unwavering love.
Maybe I’ve always unknowingly been a little bit in love with him, the boy who shook my hand all those years ago. The one who grew into the kind of man who puts a heating pad on my stomach when my cramps get too intense and talks with me on the phone until I fall asleep when I’m five thousand miles away from home.
The one who’s been by my side from the very beginning. A single hello, a silly little handshake forever altering our history. He’s the one who’s encouraged me, who’s believed in me, who’s supported me well before I was ever truly, fully his. He’s been my one constant, the weight on the scales that tips me back to steady from unbalanced.
He’s the reason no one else has ever measured up. The reason I’ve shut others out so quickly, because maybe,maybeI’ve been subconsciously comparing them to him. To know Patrick is to know that no one, not a single person in this world, could ever come close to how wonderful he is. As a friend, as a partner, as a lover, as a human being. He is the best of the best. The blueprint for what everyone should strive to be. And he’s the one who loves me,all of me, flaws and all.
He welcomes those imperfections with open arms. What others have teased me about, what others have drawn attention to and called shortcomings, he considers rarities, blessings, precious jewels only found buried in a treasure chest. Not something to hide but something to embrace. Something to hold close because they’re special and they’re important, far from blemishes on my personality.
I love him. I love him. I love him.I love him.
And he loves me, two people head over heels for each other and a destiny of forever ahead. Uncharted waters, undiscovered paths of life now all ones we’ll travel together, side by side, until the end of time. I’m going to find a way to attach his soul to mine. To stitch our hearts together so there’s never a day when I don’t have him with me.
“You love me?” Patrick asks.
He sounds uncertain, like he wasn’t expecting me to ever say it back. A far-off daydream he’s only thought about while alone, convincing himself he’d never hear those words from my mouth. It hurts my heart to think there might have been a time when he didn’t know I feel the same about him, and I’m going to do everything in my power to prove to him how certain he should be.
“Yes, I love you. I love you a whole lot, Patrick Walker. And I’m not just saying it because you said it. I’ve spent this whole trip becoming more and more sure of how much I love you and hoping you feel the same. How could Inotlove you? You are the most wonderful thing to ever happen to me.”
