Page 44 of Road Trip to Forever
Forget halfway. I’ll go all the way for her.
“We need to get ready to leave.”
My eyes fly open, her words a bucket of ice water. She’s pulling away, stepping back, and Ihatethis. This lack of communication between us. We’regoodat communicating, good at talking about what’s on our minds, but she’s putting up a wall between us, an invisible barrier I have no clue how to break down.
I think I might have gone too far, done too much or said too much. I should tone it down and reel it in… except… except Ican’tbecause I watch Lola pick up a book from the box. She clutches it tight to her chest and drops her eyes to my lips, her stare lingering there for a beat too long to be considered friendly.With a smile I can’t figure out and a pat to my shoulder, she leaves my room with a lethal swish of her hips.
I groan and bury my face in my pillow.
I am such a damn coward.
TWELVE
PATRICK
“Are you ready to get married?”I ask Henry.
We’re in a holding room at the history museum with Jack, Neil, and Noah, waiting patiently until the wedding planner gives us the okay to head to the altar. It’s dingy and cramped in here, and I don’t think the air conditioning is working.
“I’ve never been more sure of something in my life,” Henry says. He grins and adjusts his tie, and I can’t find an ounce of nerves on his face. “I love her so much. I want to go up there and put the ring on her finger already, then take her home and call her my wife every morning when we wake up.”
“I’m happy for you, man.”
His gaze meets mine in the mirror and his smile dims, burning out around the edges until it slopes into a thin line. “Are we going to talk about why you’re so quiet today?”
“I’m not quiet,” I answer. I dust off his shoulder, getting rid of an invisible piece of lint to avoid his eye contact.
“I’ve known you since we were teenagers, Patrick. I saw you puke your brains out after a fraternity party on more than one occasion. You helped me study for the bar exam and gave up three nights of sleep so I wouldn’t have to review practice tests alone. Don’t bullshit me.”
“It’s your wedding day. I don’t want to make it about me,” I say.
I fiddle with the shiny cufflinks on my suit jacket. They’re a gift from Henry, distributed in the limo on our way to the museum as he wiped a tear from his eye and thanked us for standing by his side on his big day. He engraved the metal with our initials, and if I had to guess, they probably cost more than my rent.
“As your gift to me, you can tell me what’s going on.”
“Nice try. You said no gifts.”
“Would you look at that? I’m the one paying for this stupidly expensive party, so I think I’m allowed to make the rules,” he says smugly. “Spill.”
Henry points to a spot on the tweed couch. I sigh and fold my body into the small space, scooting an inch to my left so I’m not sitting in Jack’s lap. I close my eyes and take a deep breath, preparing for my confession.
“I’m in love with Lola. So fucking in love with her. I’ve tried to date other women. I’ve been happy with other people, even thought I could see a future with them, until I have to end it because my heart keeps pulling me back to Lola. I don’t know how to tell her how I feel, especially because we want different things in life. We could never”—my heart cinches tight and I hate how bitter the next words taste on my tongue—“be together.”
All four men stare at me. It’s so silent I can hear the guests filing into the museum on the other side of the wall. Low conversations, light laughter. There are three hundred chairs set up in the atrium, with bouquets of sunflowers attached to the end of every row.
I wonder how many of those people out there are in love with someone they can’t have.
Am I the only idiot in the building?
“Dammit,” Jack grumbles, the first to speak. He pulls out his wallet and throws a crumpled twenty-dollar bill on the floor.
Henry snatches it up, grinning wildly as he tucks the money into his shirt pocket. I blink at the exchange of cash and look between the two.
“Did I miss something? Wait a second. Are you all betting on—”
“When you would finally admit to us you’re in love with your best friend?” Neil doesn’t look up from his phone. “Yup. It’s been going on for a while.”
“You’re not serious.”
