Page 27 of Road Trip to Forever
My body buzzes, feverish at the thought of Patrick’s hand in mine. The swing of our arms and a shared bed. Late nights and early mornings wrapped around each other and his fingers anywhere they can reach. A plate of glazed donuts and chocolate chip muffins from my favorite corner bakery for breakfast, a surprise when I wake up to a kiss on my forehead.
Quiet afternoons stretched out on the couch, a mug of tea and a warm quilt. An inside joke. Both our books on the coffee table. Soft kisses and sweet touches that turn sensual, heady, and urgent. His legs on either side of my hips and his teeth pulling at the hem of my shirt, a wicked gleam in his beautiful green eyes.
Maybe it’s been Patrick all along, the only one who can calm my racing heart and quiet my restless mind. The person who can put all my broken pieces back together into a completed puzzle and somehow add his own pieces, too.
Maybe I’ve been too silly to see it.
I shake my head and clear away the daydreams.
“Sorry.” I let out a breath and toss the pillow to the ground, bringing my knees to my chest. “I’m so caught off guard. Is it even possible for my feelings for him to switch so quickly? It doesn’t make sense.”
“Yes,” Jo says, and my shoulders relax with the affirmation. “I worked with Jack for years without being attracted to him. The same thing happened to Emma. All it takes is a single moment to see someone in a new light. It doesn’t need a lot of build up.”
Her logic seems valid.
Is it safe to assume that being put in a situation with Patrick where kissing him was obtainable is what has me in a tizzy? A closeness we’ve never found ourselves in, and opening the door to a whole new realm of what we could be.
“No matter how I might be feeling, I’m not sure it could ever work. We’re too different. He’s a relationship guy, and I’m not a relationship girl,” I say.
“You might not be a relationship girl, but you acknowledge that Patrick is attractive, right?” Rebecca asks.
I bite back a grin.
The best part about growing up with someone and having them in your life as an adult is knowing how much they’ve changed since childhood and appreciating the physical features they’ve been blessed with.
Muscles. Height. Large hands and a kind, gracious heart. Hair I want to run my fingers through and sharp dimples that could bring a woman to her knees. A laugh that warms my soul and brightens the darkest days.
“Patrick is very attractive,” I admit. It’s the first time I’ve ever said it out loud, and I like how the newfound discovery sounds. “Hot as hell. The total package.”
“You just know he’d do whatever you asked,” Emma says, adding a wistful sigh.
“In life,” Jo adds. “And in bed. The best of both worlds.”
We dissolve into a fit of giggles. I let my mind wander to the idea of Patrick in the bedroom. Would he be nice? Considerate?Hands here, please. That feels nice. Thank you so much. Or would he be more aggressive and in control? A new personality unlocked when he’s under the sheets and pinning a woman’s arms above her head. Bite marks. Scratches from fingernails and hickeys on fair skin.
I blush and I take a sip of my drink to hide the color flooding my cheeks. I’m not sure I can look at my sweet and quiet best friend the same way ever again.
“I have no clue what I want going forward, except when I was on Patrick’s couch and he was looking at me, I knew with every fiber of my being I wanted him to kiss me,” I say. “There wasn’t a doubt in my mind. The moment was there, and he didn’t take it. I guess he didn’t feel the same.”
Silence descends as the women glance at each other. I narrow my eyes and look between them, trying to read their minds.
“What?” I ask.
“It’s obvious Patrick wants to kiss you,” Jo says.
I blink. I set my drink down and fold my fingers around the edge of the chair, digging into the fabric for support.
“No. It’s not like that with us. He treats me like you all do. He’s considerate and cooks me dinner. In the morning, he brings me tea. He makes sure I know I’m heard. It’s what best friendsdo, and not an indication that he wants to kiss me. Oh my god. Can you imagine? If that were the case, he’s wanted to kiss me for years.”
I laugh after I say it, the chuckle turning into full-blown hysteria. I shake my head and wipe my eyes, stopping when I see I’m the only one who finds the comment funny.
“Patrick takes friendship to a new level, Lo. That man is head over heels for you. He has been since I met him,” Rebecca says. “And that was, what? Six years ago?”
“The first time he mentioned you, I assumed you two were dating,” Emma adds.
“What? And you never thought to tell me any of this?” I stand up and put my hands on my hips. I pace across the carpet, trying to process the last five minutes of information. “He’s never… Nothing he’s done has ever made me feel like we’ve crossed a boundary or done something inappropriate. Am I oblivious? How have I never noticed?”
“You haven’t noticed because you never felt that way about him,” Emma says. “You weren’t looking for a sign that he liked you, and you never gave him a sign that you might like him. I think he’s tried to repress those feelings because they haven’t been reciprocated.”
