Page 68 of Running Into You
“Betty, I—”
“She was not a good mother. Still isn’t. I could never figure out how to please her or how to make her care about me. I thought there was a real possibility that I might turn out to be like her. And it terrified me, Josh.” He walks toward me, but I keep talking and he stops before he reaches me. “Then I was in a relationship with someone who fed those fears. He made me think I wasn’t capable of love, just like her. But I’m not her. I saw her last night, and I realized that my mother has only ever really loved one person and that’s herself. I’m not like that. I could never be like that. I love my dad, and Rilla, and Maggie.” I swallow hard. “And above all else, I love you. I didn’t let myself believe it, because I thought I didn’t deserve you. I thought you’d be happier with Eleanor or someone like her and part of me still believes that you deserve so much more than me. But I’m done lying to myself and to you.”
The words tumble from my lips so quickly. If it weren’t for the determined look on Josh’s face, I don’t know if I’d be certain I’d actually said them out loud. He walks slowly toward me, his eyes never leaving mine. They are fixed on me with such intensity, it’s as if I’ve never been so seen. My layers have been peeled back and I feel vulnerable and exposed.
“No one could possibly be more than you, Betty. Not when you’re already everything to me.” He rests his forehead on mine and we stand there, simply breathing each other in.
“Is that your way of telling me that I’m a lot?” I laugh nervously. I’m trembling with the force of these foreign emotions. “Do you think you can handle me?”
He leans forward, his lips brushing mine. “You know I like a challenge.” His kiss feels like a promise, and I return it wholeheartedly. He holds me against him tightly, like he’s making sure I don’t disappear. I run one hand through his windblown hair and cradle his face in the other. The world around us ceases to exist. That is until a car horn is followed by a loud “WHOOOOO” screamed in our direction. We break apart but remain staring at each other.
Finally, Josh grins and with a tug on my hand starts jogging backward in the direction we came from. I follow without question. It feels otherworldly to be with him now, after everything I’ve just said. Like for the first time, I’m running toward him, not away from him.
Since we hadn’t made it very far in our attempted run, we’re back to the house in five minutes. The sky has clouded over, and rain is starting to color the asphalt a darker shade of grey. Instead of heading inside, I watch Josh take his keys from his pocket and unlock his car.
“Where are you going?” I say, watching him climb in.
He gives me a hungry look that makes my stomach flip as he starts the engine. “I need your help with something.” The way his eyes linger on my lips makes further questions or thoughts impossible. I float around the car and climb in next to him.
A short drive later, he turns onto a gravel path. What started as a light shower has turned into a heavy downpour and I text Rilla, so she doesn’t worry that we’re caught in it. Josh’s free hand rests on my thigh, his fingers lightly drumming against the fabric of my pants. The movement sends a ripple of vibrations that I feel at my very center. When I catch his eye, the smile that creeps onto his face tells me he knows exactly what he’s doing to me.
He hasn’t told me where we’re going, but as we leave the path and drive up a grassy hill, I figure it out on my own. I can barely see through the rain-soaked window, but I don’t need to see to know where he’s taken me.
“The Outlook,” I say, raising an eyebrow at him as he puts the car in park and kills the engine. The side-eye he gives me is laced with heat and my heart accelerates. “That’s a bit presumptuous of you, isn’t it?”
“Since we established that neither one of us completed this rite of passage, I haven’t been able to stop thinking about taking you here.” His warm eyes settle on my mouth.
“What kind of girl do you think I am?” I try, and fail to seem offended. Excitement courses through every vein.
He leans closer. His arm rests behind my head on my seat. His other hand comes to my face, the thumb gently stroking my cheek.
“My kind.”
Our mouths come together in mutual need. Tongues meet. Hands roam, grabbing, squeezing, and caressing. My teeth scrape against his bottom lip, and he groans, pulling back from me. He climbs over the center console with surprising agility for someone his size, then he reaches for me to join him. With his help, I make my way to the back seat, straddling his lap as I reach him. His powerful hands stroke my back, spreading heat wherever they touch. In a blur of movement, we remove our tops. I touch his warm chest with my freezing hands, and he squirms away with a laugh. Kissing my cold fingers, he moves them to the back of his head as he leans in for another searing kiss. His joggers are doing a terrible job concealing his rock-hard erection. I grind myself onto him, making both of us moan from the friction between us. He moves me off him, placing his hands in the waistband of my pants and pushing them down. I lean against him as I step out of them on trembling legs. He quickly sheds his own pants before scooping me up and settling me against him again.
“I don’t have a condom.” He breathes into the crook of my neck. “Don’t worry, though. I can still make you feel good.” His hand comes between us, his fingers light and teasing exactly where I need him.
“I’m on the pill,” I gasp at the contact. “I was clean at my last physical and there’s been no one but you.” I move his hand to my ass and slide myself against him. “Please, Josh. I need all of you.”
“I’m clean too.” His hands grip my ass, moving me against him. “Are you sure, baby?” My frantic nod is confirmation enough. He fills me with one thrust, and I cry out, gripping his shoulders, my head falling back. His movements are slow and when I try to speed up, he grips my hips so I meet his tempo. “If you keep riding me like that, I’m not going to last long enough to get you there.” I pace myself, even though I don’t want to. I watch him, watching me. He takes note of every reaction, every gasp, every moan. His thumb strokes my most sensitive spot and my hips buck, begging to go faster. This time, he lets me, knowing how close I am. I lean back, supporting myself with my hands on his knees as I continue to move on top of him. We speed up together, and it’s better than anything I’ve ever felt before.
“I love you so much it hurts. You are everything to me, Betty.” He pants, watching me. “Everything.” I climax hard on top of him, and he holds me while I shudder and collapse on his shoulder, waves of sensation coursing through every pore. I’m still coming when he jerks one last time inside me. He wraps his arms around me as we both come back to ourselves. His long fingers stroke the back of my neck. My body feels light and immobile at the same time. He kisses my shoulder and nuzzles his face into my neck.
When we’re clothed again, he pulls me back onto his lap. He gazes lovingly at me, and my heart threatens to burst. I’ve never felt so treasured. So loved.
“How do you feel having gone all the way at The Outlook?” he teases.
“Like a stereotypical horny teenager.” I giggle, nestling into him.
“Unprotected sex, no less.”
“An irresponsible, stereotypical teenager! Even better.”
We stay like this for a long time. The rain is tapering off and we reluctantly decide to head back to his parent’s house.
“I don’t want to share you with other people right now.” He grumbles as he drives back onto the gravel path.
“It’s only for a short time. You’ll have me all to yourself again in no time.”
