Page 49 of Summer Heat
"I've found that it's easier to lower my expectations when it comes to Derek. Maya gets to see him, and he's there for school events. That's about it. I handle the day-to-day, the doctor visits, illnesses, school, and I wouldn't want it any other way."
Hudson raised a brow. "Surely, it would be easier if you had someone to share in the parental burdens?"
"I wouldn't want to hope for something that might not happen. Since Derek left, it's been easier for me to assume that most of the parenting falls to me. Derek only sees her every other weekend and doesn't deal with the daily stuff, homework, friend struggles."
"There's nothing wrong with hoping for a partner in life," Hudson said gently.
I smiled. "I just talked to Elena about getting back out on the dating scene. The only problem is that most guys don't want to date someone who has a child."
"The right person won't mind. I saw how Blake took to Lilliana. I've seen it happen," Hudson said.
It was too much to hope for and then be let down. I remembered what it was like when I first started dating. Maya was two, and I watched as the men lost interest when I talked about myself being a single mother. It was either not tell them and block any chance of a real relationship, or take myself out of the dating game. I'd done the latter, but Shep was making me think there were good guys out there. "The island is small. I know all the eligible single guys."
"What about a tourist?" Hudson offered.
Shep stuffed the rest of his sandwich in his mouth, then chased it down with the lemonade.
"And then what? He moves here?" I asked lightly. The more I thought about getting back out there, the worse it seemed.
"Elena went to our high school, but I didn't know her back then. It was only when we met again and she was doing a story on our family that we connected. So you never know when you're going to meet someone," Hudson said thoughtfully.
"So you're saying I could have a connection with someone I've known my entire life?"
Hudson shrugged. "Or it could be someone new. But you have to be open to it."
"I have been closed off to the idea of dating anyone." That was probably why no guys had expressed interest. I put off a don't get close to me vibe. Then there was the issue of being too exhausted to do more than work and be Maya's parent. I didn't have the time and space to date like Derek. Not that I'd want things any other way.
We finished off our sandwiches, then picked at the grapes and cheese while we enjoyed the breeze coming off the water. This really was the ideal location for a home, but it was bigger than anything I could ever afford.
I tipped my head to the side. "What's on the schedule for the afternoon?"
Hudson sighed. "Tiling, tiling, and more tiling."
"Do you enjoy doing the work yourself, or do you prefer having a crew do it?" I asked them.
"I prefer to be busy, so I don't mind getting my hands dirty."
I wondered how else Shep got his hands dirty. Why was everything he said so hot?
"I'll come up and hit Record on the video, but I'm going to work out here this afternoon."
"Stay cool," Hudson said as he cleaned up his plate.
I reached for his plate. "I can get that. You're already doing so much for us."
"I don't mind," Hudson said as we followed him inside.
They headed upstairs while I placed the lunch dishes in the dishwasher.
Tonight, I'd be alone with Shep, and I wasn't sure how to act. He'd mentioned making dinner together, but what would we do after that? Would we watch a movie in the media room or sit outside on that amazing rooftop deck?
I was interested in getting to know Shep without Maya underfoot, but I was worried about my reaction to him. Would he guess that I'd been secretly lusting after him?
I couldn't risk him finding out. I should excuse myself to my room and say I'm editing more video. Under no circumstances should I be alone with him.
I went outside with my laptop, setting up under the umbrella that gave me a view of the pool and the ocean.
The sound of the water breaking on the shore kept me company while I watched the videos of Shep and Maya demoing the bathrooms. I wasn't sure how much footage we would need, so I broke it down into smaller clips, intending to use them on social media as teasers.
