Page 85 of Summer Heat
I gazed up at the house. I wouldn't live here much longer. Neither Shep nor this beautiful home were mine. We'd enjoyed ourselves while we were here, and now it was time to go, to lick my wounds and preserve some semblance of pride.
Shep could come home at any minute, and I wanted to be asleep when he did. I didn't want him to ask why I left. The pain was too much.
I wanted to feel sorry for myself. To remind myself why I never should have gotten involved with Shep.
I couldn't handle the attention he got whenever he went out. It brought back all my insecurities, which was the reason I'd resisted him for so long.
He'd only dated me in the safety of the house where no one knew we were together. He could move on from our relationship as soon as I moved out. It would be easy for him to disengage.
I'd preserve my job and my heart. It was the right thing to do. I texted Ivy, asking if she could take me around tomorrow to a few apartments. Then I turned off my phone and got under the sheets.
It would only be a few more nights in this beautiful room, in this amazing house. Then we'd be living in a small one- or two-bedroom apartment, saving whatever money I could and dreaming of a single-family home.
It would be nothing like this. Captiva homes were inherited, not bought by someone like me.
I didn't know why I thought I could have Shep. He was turning into an internet sensation, and I wouldn't block his success. He needed to be single for the videos to be successful.
I listened for Shep to come home, but I must have drifted off because the next thing I knew, it was daylight.
I checked the messages from Ivy. She'd scheduled early showings, so I jumped in the shower and rushed downstairs, relieved to see that Shep was gone. He was probably on his run on the beach.
I left a note.
Meeting with Ivy to look at a few places. Love, K.
It was the easy way to inform him that I was moving out. I'd mentioned it at lunch the other day in front of Hudson and Elena. I'd meant it as a cover, but there'd been some truth to it. I knew I should have been looking.
I shouldn't have assumed this home was mine, even temporarily. The Kingston lifestyle wasn't mine. I was a single mom who struggled to find a nice place to live and worried about the cost of groceries and utilities.
I wasn't the woman for Shep, and I didn't know why I thought I could fit into his life.
I hurried through the gate and toward the first apartment where I was meeting Ivy. When I pulled into the condo complex, Ivy stood next to her SUV with a coffee in hand. I got out and grabbed the second one from her, sipping it. "Thank you."
She raised a brow. "No time for coffee?"
I didn't want to stick around and run into Shep. "I overslept."
Ivy walked toward the complex. "Are you feeling better after last night?"
It took me a minute to realize I'd used that as an excuse to duck out. "I think I was tired. We had a long day of renovations."
"Are you excited about seeing a few new places?" Ivy asked with her usual enthusiasm.
Nothing inside me was excited about what I had to do. "Yes."
She unlocked the door. "This condo is on the first floor?—"
I'd always been told to avoid first-floor apartments for safety reasons, but I'd never been able to afford anything higher. I tried not to feel despair that I was failing my child again.
Ivy pushed open the door. "It's fully furnished."
That was perfect because most of our furniture had to be discarded after the flood. I didn't have anything especially nice, but I didn't want to have to replace it.
It was bright, everything painted white. The tile in the bathroom, the kitchen, and the countertops, cupboards. "Well, at least it's not too dark."
Ivy smiled. "It's definitely not that."
There was a small bedroom as soon as we walked in, then a bathroom, a kitchen, the living room, and the main bedroom was off the living space. It was marginally larger than the first bedroom with its own bathroom. "This is nice."
