Page 38 of Love, Magic and Misfortune
“Yes.”
“You haven’t intruded or crashed anything. I let you in here, remember? You shouldn’t have broken into the house last night, and I sincerely ask that you never do that again—”
“I won’t. That was wrong of me and I’m sorry.”
“I understand why you did it, but… Violet, I’m not supposed to be around anyone. The way things are for me, I have a responsibility, and part of that charge is to remain isolated. It has nothing to do with you. You are… radiant. You’ve always been like bright sunshine to me and I really, really enjoy being in your presence. Feeling your glow and energy is life-giving. But Ishouldn’t. I really…”
He looked down at his hands resting on his thighs, then took a breath. “And please don’t say—or even think that I’d brush you aside. You’re notnothing. You’reeverything, Violet. To me. Everything I could ever hope for in a friend. You can’t imagine how much I care about you and think about you. But I shouldn’t be. So…” He shook his head and ran his fingers through his hair.
Violet’s heart was so warm and her throat so tight, it was hard to speak. When she did, her voice came out quiet, cautious. “Jas, why shouldn’t you? What’s the reason?”
He finally looked up, his watery eyes meeting hers in the dim light. “I can’t tell you.”
“Why?”
“I just—I can’t. I’m sorry.”
The silence settled over them and it felt cold. Lonely. It was the same sensation she felt when she looked at the run-down state of Laurent House. When she took in the barren apple orchard and the withered rose garden. The loneliness was like a black, inky bubble around this house, radiating outward in a giant malevolent sphere. In the center of the misfortune and despair was Jasper. Her lovely, smart and sweet friend with his bundled-up secrets. Crouched there, all by himself.
“You don’t need to be sorry.” Violet broke the silence. “But, what now? What… are you comfortable with?”
He lifted his head, meeting her eyes again. “I enjoy having you here and our visits. I think it’s much more than I deserve. But I just need some boundaries if I allow myself to do this. Can you understand? I don’t mean to insult you. That’s not it, so please don’t take it that way.”
“Okay, but if I do something that upsets a boundary, can you tell me? It’s hard to not take things personally when I’m immediately escorted off the premises without explanation.”
He scrunched his nose, playful. “I may have overreacted a bit.”
Violet mocked his expression. “Mm. Just a little.”
He smiled, leaning his head back and closing his eyes. He was obviously tired, so Violet stood, grabbing her purse as she did so. At the sound of Violet’s rustling, Jasper lifted his head again, his heavy lids opening.
“I’ll go,” she assured him, smiling. “You need some sleep. And for the record, you’re everything to me, too, Jas. You’re someone that I always want in my life—no matter how old we get. I care about you, too, and I love you. If you ever decide you want to tell me what’s going on, I’m here.”
Jasper’s eyes went ridiculously wide before he closed them tight and held up his hand in a stop motion. His face flushed in deep rosy red. “Boundary. Don’t do that.”
“Do what?” Violet frowned.
“What yousaid. Don’t—”
“I said a bunch of stuff. You don’t haveto tell me what’s really wrong with you—”
“Not that part.”
“Then what? That I love you?”
“That.”
Violet blinked, confused. “But I do—why? I can’t say that I love you, now? You’re my best friend. You don’t love me?”
The rosy flush of his skin deepened as he shook his head. “I’m—I… Violet,please. I’m exhausted and—”
“Alright, Jasper,alright. Ugh. Men.” She shook her head and moved toward the hallway. “I’ll see myself out. Should I visit with food next week?” Pausing, she turned to look at him. He was slouched down in the chair, his hair even messier than usual as he stared at her with his flushed face. He looked hopeless. And adorable.
“Yes, please,” he said, a little smile on his lips. “You don’t have to wait until next week. If you have time…”
Violet lifted her chin, her nose upturned in a teasing gesture. “Imighthave time. If you’re lucky.”
“I’m not lucky.” He grinned. “But Iwouldbe if you did.”
