Page 92 of Love, Magic and Misfortune
“You didn’t say anything.”
“Wh-What am I supposed to say?”
Violet sat up further, frowning but amused. “I don’t know, something equally childish like, ‘Yeah, best friends for life.’”
“Yeah, best friends for life…”
They paused, staring at each other before Violet laughed and shook her head. “Boooo.” She laid her head against his shoulder again, closing her eyes and smiling. “Next time with a little more enthusiasm, please.”
“I love being your best friend, but…”
“But?”
Jasper took a breath. She could feel the subtle rise and fall of it as she relaxed against his shoulders. “After we had the brunch party at your house and Freddie kissed me, you said… You told me, ‘Of course they find you attractive.’ Do you remember?”
“Yes.”
“So, does that mean… that you find me attractive?”
Opening her eyes, Violet sat up again and looked at him. His skin was flushed crimson in the firelight, his slate eyes darting between her and the hearth. He shook his head. “No—forget it. It’s a stupid question and I—I’m being ridiculous—”
Violet lifted her fingers and pressed the tips to his mouth. When he was silent, she looked him in the eyes. “Yes, Jasper, I find youveryattractive. Of course I do.”
A moment’s pause, dancing shadows and heat radiating both inside and outside of Violet’s body. Jasper took hold of her wrist and brought her hand up to cover his face with it. Pressing her palm against the smooth contours of his nose and mouth, he closed his eyes.
With her hand awkwardly shielding his face, Violet remained still, her voice soft. “Are you attracted to me?”
His eyes still closed, Jasper’s lips moved against her palm, the sensation tickling her skin. “Do you also remember when you accused authors of creating shallow, svelte and big-breasted chicks from their man fantasies?”
Violet held back a laugh at the absurd reference. “Um, yeah…”
He slid her hand down a little, opening his eyes and watching her. “I’ve never thought about those kinds of women—because it’salwaysbeen you. You’re my fantasy, Violet.”
He smiled, melting Violet’s insides into something like sparkly goop. Never one without words, Violet found herself speechless.
Jasper wrapped his hand around her fingers, clasping them and bringing her knuckles to his mouth once more. His lips were soft, brushing her skin as he spoke quietly. “I always want to be your best friend. But I want… I wish I could be more than that.”
She could hardly breathe from the tension of everything swelling in her heart. Couldn’t look away from his lovely, pale gaze staring back at her in the dim light. It was as if everything else had faded into the background and become muted. There was only Jasper and only this moment.
“You can be,” she said.
“I’m cursed.”
“So? That doesn’t matter to me.”
“It matters to me.”
“I don’t get a say in this? You tell me you love me, that I’m your fantasy and that you want to be more than my friend—but what am I supposed to do with all of that, Jasper? Do you expect me to sit here and not feel anything?”
“No, I-I don’t know—”
“You tell me these things and then there’s a hard stop. Like a door being slammed in my face over and over. You wriggle your finger and tell me to come closer and then you shut it closed again.”
“I’msorry. I’m not—” He stood with a jolt, raking his hands through his hair and pacing the floor. Standing by the hearth with his fingers still tangled against his scalp, his chest heaved. The background came to life once more with the fireplace burning. A dove cooing somewhere beyond the picture window.
“I don’t know what you want from me.” Violet turned her head, gazing through the glass and up toward the stormy skyline filled with the puffy bluish-gray clouds.
“I want everything,” he said. “And nothing. I want to live my life with you. Trying everything there is to try and doing everything. But I’m disgust—I’m… I’m cursed, and I want you to go as far away from me as possible and live the life you deserve with someone who can truly make you happy.”
