Page 73 of The Awakening
Haruka looks down at the phone, pouting, as if he’s being asked to use some foreign, complex object. “Just… text Asao. He will tell me.”
“No, tesoro. I want to textyoutoday.Tutto il giorno.”
I don’t know what Nino said since I don’t speak Italian, but there is a distinct moment of pause. Like a stand-off. Haruka sighs. “Alright…”
Nino leans in and starts frantically kissing Haruka, like rapid-fire affection—on the bridge of his nose, then his forehead and cheek. Haruka turns his face away and Nino kisses his ear and against his temple. When he’s done, Haruka is leaning away slightly, his face tightly scrunched in a smile.
Nino lifts his chin, grinning over him. “Ti amo.”
Haruka turns to look up at him. “I loveyou.” He reaches and grabs a fistful of Nino’s jumper at his chest, pulling him down into two quick kisses on his mouth. Nino grunts in a warm, satisfied sound, then stands and walks toward the door. He waves to me. “See you later, Jae.”
I wave back, awestruck. When I look over at Haruka, he’s shaking his head and rolling his eyes, but he’s obviously amused. These two. It feels unfair. Everyone should be able to have this. Or no one.
“My apologies.” Haruka sighs, picking up the phone and moving it to the other side of his desk.
“S’alright.” I smile. I’m honestly accustomed to it at this point. Over the past month, I’ve observed that part of the charm in their relationship is Nino lightheartedly trolling Haruka. It’s like Haruka needs it. A gentle reminder to not be so serious. When Nino does it, it’s also a reminder to me that I can openly ask Haruka questions—that he isn’t some impenetrable wall of purebred distinction and magnificence like he seems.
“Haruka… why do a vampire’s eyes glow? What does it mean?”
“The cause of our eyes alighting is heavily contextual. Generally, some deep emotion has been stirred within our natures to trigger it. It can be positive or negative.”
I nod. “Like if you’re very angry or very happy?”
“Yes, put simply.” Haruka sits up perfectly straight, folding his arms. “Our eyes alighting is a by-product of the manifestation of our vampiric auras, usually due to some significant emotion. For instance, true rage from the result of yourself or a loved one being physically threatened. On the opposite end, sincere love and passion—the inherent, deep desire for another creature. I am an exception to this general rule because I strictly maintain unique control over my nature. When I manipulate things with my energy, my eyes alight from that as well, regardless of my emotional state.”
“Is Nino the same way?”
Haruka nods. “Increasingly. As he gains more control over our shared bloodline and nature. I should note that this only occurs within creatures who possess predominantly vampiric natures.”
“Right, I know. Only purebreds and first-generations.”
“Correct.”
I slide my glasses back onto my face, thinking about the conversation Haruka and I had a few weeks ago about bonding. He’s even let me readLore and Lust. It’s quite in-depth, and I’m still working my way through it, but it amazes me… the intimacy of vampire bonds. To be so deeply connected with another person that you can read their mind, or thattheiremotions register in your own body.
You drink each other’sblood. I know that statement seems mundane in the context of vampires, and recently, Jun and I do it as well, but… sometimes I still like to isolate that thought, just to let the significance and weight of it sink in.
Jun and I drink each other’s blood.
Insane.
“So, if your eyes alight for a person… maybe you’d want to bond with them?”
“Not exclusively,” Haruka says. “But the prospect is undeniably high. Your nature may tell you something—show you something fundamentally true. But there is always free will. We are driven by our natures as vampires, but we are not slaves to them.”
“Right.” Baggage. Mucks things up, doesn’t it?
After Jun and I talked on Monday, I realized I’ve never said the words “I love you” to anyone but my mum. I can’t even easily recall saying it to Dad. Maybe I did as a child. Probably. Of course, right? I had to have. But I clearly remember saying it to Mum when I was older. Especially as she got weaker and before she died. I said it all the time then.
I’m focusing on it because it feels like a phrase that’s been kept in a vault inside me, and quite unexpectedly, it’s tried to escape. These three words that I never put together in this particular, consecutive order. Not that I’ve ever said, “You love I” or “Love I you.” That’d be weird.
“Bonding seems intense,” I comment. “Like, two become one and everything is shared… You can’t lie or cheat or hide anything, ever.”
“Being bonded does not prevent a vampire from cheating, although there are heavy, painful consequences in doing so. And often, I do not disclose entire truths to my mate. However, he is the most intuitive creature that I have ever met, so my attempts at deception are more amusing to him than not.”
That makes me chuckle. Haruka definitely put the phone under the bathroom sink.
“Why do you ask?” Haruka is looking at me pointedly. I’m not sure if I should reveal that Jun’s eyes alighted in front of me (it was so gorgeous, sometimes I lie in bed and reimagine it). Jun seemed flustered in the moment. I’m sure he wouldn’t want me blabbing on about it. Just as I’m about to evade Haruka’s question, another deep yawn overtakes me, and I bring my palm to my mouth to cover it. Christ.
