Page 35 of The Last True Hero
"Not from the way you're looking at her." This time, Jake's eyes narrowed. "You look at her like a man in the desert finding his first oasis in three days. And while I might be willing to... overlook certain things for the moment, you so much as breathe in her direction and I will—"
"What? Shoot me?"
Jake didn't have an answer to that, but his eyes remained narrow.
Adam scrubbed both hands through his hair, lacing them at the back of his skull. He stared at the faint rays of sunlight creeping over the horizon, watching the light begin to paint the desert a glorious pink. All this beauty in his life—the desert, Mia, the way Ethan Thwaites wrapped his arms around his daughter as if he'd just seen a glimpse of heaven—and he could only ever be a bystander. Of course he wanted to reach out and touch it, touch her. Even as he knew that he couldn't. "She's an amazing woman," he said, his voice raw and harsh. "And I know I can't have her. Do you think that stops me from wanting to? And hell, I'll stay away from her—because I'm notthatmuch of a monster—but I won't pretend that there's not a single part of me that doesn't want to know her, just once."
"She'll never forgive you," Jake warned. "And if she knows you lied to her...."
"Yeah, I picked up on that. Woman doesn't like secrets." Just once he wanted to push back. "After all, she hasn't forgiven you yet."
That earned him a dirty look. "Probably never will either." "Bad lie?"
"The worst." Jake's voice came out hollow. He didn't bother asking how Adam guessed. It was written all over the two of them whenever they were in the same room together. That kind of hate didn't just happen. It was caused by bitter betrayal, or something else.
Like a broken heart.
"So you're not going to tell her?"
Again the man's lips thinned. "Not my secret to tell. And maybe that's another mistake, I don't know. I'm only human." He sighed. "I can't get Sage back without Mia. Or you. And right now, Mia's feelings don't matter half as much as my wife's safety." His voice broke on that last word.
Adam scrubbed at his stubbled jaw. "They haven't raped her yet."
Jake's head shot up.
"The reiver... he said they're not allowed to ruin the women. Not the ones they want to sell anyway. Cypher won't pay for damaged goods."
"Who the fuck is Cypher?"
"I don't know." Adam shrugged. "I guess we'll find out when we hit Rust City. But the reiver was scared shitless of the bastard. He was actually begging me to kill him at that point, so this Cypher wouldn't know he'd ratted him out."
A shudder ran through the other man. "Okay," Jake said, and his voice sounded rusty, like he'd been trying to hold himself together, but Adam's words about his wife only confronted his worst fears. "Okay." He took a slow, steady breath, then let it out. "I'm going to get a few hours’ sleep. If I can. You'd best get some too. As soon as the sun fully hits the skies we'll head south for Rust City and get my wife back."
Adam nodded gruffly.
"I'm not going to tell Mia and I won't shoot you in the back. Not until this is done. But I can't promise anything else," Jake said, still looking like a man caught between two demons as he turned for the stairs. But at least he wasn't looking like he might reach for that shotgun. "We're not friends, McClain—hell, I don't even know if I can trust you completely—but I need you. So I'll set all this aside until we get out of this mess."
He backed away with a sharp nod, man-to-man, and turned for the stairwell.
Leaving Adam alone. Again.
Forever, whispered that little dark voice in his head. Adam curled his hand into a fist. He'd beaten that voice a couple of times now, when it sought to take him to a dark place where it seemed like there was no light. The last time it had taken a couple of months to crawl out of there. To keep putting one foot in front of the other. And he wasn't going to listen to it this time, even as he knew that it could sink its hooks in him at any time.
You serve a purpose, he told himself. A mantra he'd used to protect himself far too often. The list of purposes ran through his head, only this time he'd added a couple of items: Find Mia's sister and the other girls. Kill the reivers. Find Johnny Colton, the warg who’d helped do this to him. Kill Colton. Make sure Eden was safe and loved, even if it had to be from a distance.
The warming desert wind stirred through his clothes. There was a nice bottle of hard liquor in his bags, but that was another demon he was starting to lean on just a little too much.
With a tired sigh, Adam raked his hand through his hair and started toward the stairwell.
That had gone better than he'd expected.
At least Jake wasn't going to kill him.
He might be saving that honor for Mia, if she found out.
