Page 64 of The Last True Hero
Slowly Mia sat up, trying to cool the furious ache beneath her skin. She'd come here to get laid. That wasn't going to happen, and it physically hurt. Or maybe she was so fucking tired that she couldn't tell if it was her body or her heart that burned. The fan buzzed. "All I want is for you to stop pretending. To stop lying to me. I know barely anything about you, McClain. Every time I look around you're there for me, but you won't let me near. And. It. Is. Killing. Me."
Exhaustion painted dark rings beneath his eyes. "I know."
She wanted to growl with frustration. One step forward. Two steps back. "That's it?'I know.'That's all you're going to give me?"
"It's easier this way," he said.
"Easier for who?"
"Easier for you."
"That would presume that you were finding any part of this difficult." She couldn't keep the bite out of her voice.
"Mia." He pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm trying not to hurt you. Really trying. If I didn't give a damn about you, we'd have been in bed weeks ago. But there are things about me that you don't know. I'm not a good man."
At least he was honest about keeping something from her. "I hate secrets."
"I know."
"Fine," she said in a low growl as she collapsed back on the bed. "Let's pretend that kiss never happened." Even as she said it, she could feel the ghost of its caress on her sensitive lips. "No kissing. No touching. No sex. You can sit down. It's not like I'm going to push where I'm not welcome."
McClain hesitantly sat on the end of the bed. "If I could be the man you needed, Mia, then I wouldn't be saying no. But... it's complicated. If you knew my secret then you wouldn't look at me the same way. And I don't think I could bear that. Not from you."
Mia stared at the ceiling. "You don't know that. Maybe you're underestimating me?"
"I do know that."
Fine. "I just can't imagine you doing something bad. It's not your style." She laughed bitterly. "Hell, if you were really the kind of man you paint yourself as, you wouldn't be warning me off. You'd have taken what you wanted and kept your mouth shut."
Silence fell. McClain rolled slowly onto his back at her side. Inches separated them. It might as well have been miles. "Can we talk about something else?"
"Like what?"
"Sage is adopted," he murmured.
Mia glared at him. Oh no. She wasn't going to go spilling everything about her life when he barely gave her anything. "What gave it away?"
McClain flinched.
And suddenly she felt like a bitch. A tired, frustrated, grumpy bitch. She dragged the heels of her palms to her eyes. "Sorry. I need sleep. Badly."
"We both do."
Mia sighed and reached for his hand. She couldn't lose him. "Still friends?"
McClain eyed her, his head twisted to the side. "Friends?"
They'd never been that. She didn't quite know how to classify their relationship. "If you want."
"I would like that," he whispered.
Mia rolled onto her hip, tucking the pillow under her head and still holding his hand. "We were both adopted. Susan and Greg Gray couldn't have kids of their own, so they raised children for those who couldn't. They were almost sixty when we came along, so I kind of have other brothers and sisters, technically, but Sage and I were raised together. The others had their own lives by that point, and we don't see them much anymore. They moved on.
"I don't know who my mother was, but she left me on their doorstep when I was a baby. I used to get upset over that but as Susan pointed out, this is not the sort of world that makes it easy for young girls who fall pregnant. Whoever my mother was, she knew that Susan and Greg were renowned for raising other people's kids, so she must have loved me. Enough to find me wonderful parents."
"Do you miss her?"
"I miss them all," Mia corrected. "Sometimes I regret the fact that I never got to know her, or what her story was. And I miss Mom and Dad terribly. They were great people. Wonderful parents. And they gave me Sage too, which is the biggest blessing in my life. I don't know what I'd do without her."
