Page 68 of The Mech Who Loved Me
Kincaid looked around. Nobody was looking, but it didn't mean they wouldn't draw attention. Capturing her wrist, he drew her into an alley. "Ava." He clasped her hand. "What are youthinking?"
Ava looked up. "That I want you tokissme."
Normally he wouldn't hesitate. But there was her recent heartbreak over Byrnes’s marriage to consider, and her innocence. There were doubts inside him, doubts that grew the more he came to care for her. And maybe they needed to talk right now more than they needed to kiss. Because she was clearly hiding something, and hell, so washe. "Why?"
"Why?Perhaps because when you kiss me, it chases away all the doubts. Perhaps because we argued, and I'm not certain where we standrightnow."
"Nothing's changed," he repeated. "But the question is, why me? What doubts? Do you think I don't feel them too? Jaysus, Ava, you decided you wanted to lose your virginity, and I was the first person you saw when you turned around. Do you think that doesn't play on my mind? There's a part of me that wonders if I'm being used to scratch an itch just because you're suddenly curious, or because the man you thought you loved marriedsomeoneelse."
Tell me why you want me. Me, damn you, and not just a man to kiss. Not justanyman.
Ava sucked in a sharp breath. "That's not whatthisis."
"No?" he challenged. "Then what is it? You were in love with another man." He wasn't going to let her sidestep thequestion.
"In love?" she blurted. "I didn't even know what lovemeant!"
"And youdonow?"
Ava's pretty rosebud mouth opened and shut, her eyes darting to and fro. And something inside him squeezed, a horrified, breathless feeling. No.No. It was safer to keep her at arm's length and guard his heart against her. Safer to say her heart belonged to another, and he would never get his chanceatit.
Because then he would neverloseit.
Then he could neverbreakhers.
"I don't know," she whispered, as if the realization of what stood between them physically hurt her. "I wanted something that didn't exist, and now I'm staring back at it, and wondering what it all meant. Because my feelings for Byrnes... are very confusingrightnow."
"Confusing?"
"I don't know what I felt for him!" she suddenly cried. "Because if that was love, then what is this? For this feels... like something more. Like something else. This feels like you're dragging me to the edge of a cliff and asking me to trust you when you push me off it, and it feels like you're taking a blindfold off my eyes and pushing me out into a wondrous world I never even knew was there, and you're there at my side every step of the way, a port of call, my shelter in any storm. It's... a maelstrom of emotions I do not know how to process. It makes me feel both safe, and yet so, so uncertain." She tucked a curl behind her ear, looking at him earnestly. "It scares me. It really scares me, because I don't know if I'm the only one who feels this way. And I keep telling myself to be careful, and not go any further along this path, becausethis ends when thecasedoes."
Jaysus. Kincaid's heart kicked in his chest. He'd wanted a sign she'd chosen him, and then she'd kicked his feet out fromunderhim.
Ava turned and paced, pressing her fingers to her temples. "I sorry. I shouldn't havesaidthat—"
"It was exactly what I needed to hear." He stepped forward and caught her wrist, drawing her into his arms, kissing her, clutching her so tightly her spine arched and he felt her weight fall into his arms as he lifted her offherfeet—
Ava gasped. Then both hands met his chest. And she was rather stronger than he'd expected, for he slammed back against the nearest brick wall, his arms flung wide and the breath leaving him. Heat curled through his lower abdomen.Hell. Those emerald eyes of hers were gleaming with determination, and he found himself facing down a tempest in muslin. A hand met his chest, and when she took a forceful step forward, he found himself looking down at her. Acres of skirts hemmed him in, and Kincaid stoppedbreathing.
Practical, stubborn, and quiet-natured, every now and then he caught a glimmer of the passion within her—most often when they argued—and it made him want to keep pushing her, to see just how far that passionextended.
But Ava in atemper?
That was temptationindeed.
"Kiss me," hetoldher.
And she didn't hesitate. Grabbing him by the coat collar, she stretched up on her toes and claimed his mouth, her tongue dancing against his. Kincaid's arms wrapped around her, and he lifted her off her feet again, drinking in the taste of her. A desperate, furious storm of passion engulfedthemboth.
To know he was the first one to show her this made him a little feral with need. But they hadn't finished the conversation. And he'd kissed her deliberately, to steer her away from demanding his feelings, but thatwasn'tfair.
Kincaid forced himself to draw a line in the sand. One to keep them on firm ground, before he lost his head and did something he'dregret.
Like press her up against the bricks in this alley and go to his knees in front of her, sliding his hands up her silken stockings, and wrapping them around the backs of hercalves—
He drew back with a groan. Ava's eyes were so very wide, her body trembling against him. She licked her lips, almost as if tasting the warmth of his mouth, but he pressed his finger against those lips, forestalling her from reaching for himagain.
Because maybe he wouldn't have the strength of will to do thisagain.
