Page 84 of Storm of Desire
Árdís slowly looked up, feeling the truth unfurl within her, like a flower blooming. She'd never stopped lovinghim.
She neverwould.
"I would have ruined you," she blurted, "if I'dstayed."
Haakon's eyes, dark in the night, sharpenedintently.
"Did you think leaving hurt me anyless?"
No.She'd made an utter mess of it all. Pressing her hands to his to hold them there, she shook herhead.
"I'm so sorry. For everything." The words tore free from her. "I should never have married you. I knew that. I always knew that. And I'm sorry I didn't have the strength of will to walk away before things grew too far. It was too late by the time I realized what was happening. I didn't want to hurt you. I couldn't see any way notto."
"You could have toldme."
"What?" Her voice sharpened. "That you had married adrekiprincess who could never give you children? That she would never grow old, while you did."Ifhe'd grown old.Ifhe'd escaped the vengeance of her mother. "I brought you into a world you didn't belong in, and I did it carelessly. I didn't think of theconsequences."
I didn't want tothink.
For you wereeverything.
Somehow she was still cold, even within the cloak. Árdís tore away from him and wrapped her arms around her waist, but he wasn't going to allow that. Arms wrapped around her, drawing her back into a warm embrace. Árdís finally let the tears slip down her face, crying silently as he heldher.
"You couldn't give me children?" he askedhoarsely.
She slumped against him. "It's rare that adrekifemale goes into heat soyoung."
"But notimpossible?"
She didn't want to give either of them any false hope. "Not impossible, no. But such children would never be welcomed in my world. They'd feel the call of their fellowdreki, a siren song on the winds, but they'd never beaccepted."
"Árja." He turned her in hisarms.
He'd wanted to give her children. But she'd always smiled and shrugged, and changed the conversation when he brought it up. He'd thought it was because she was young, and they were so newly married, and she'd never dared enlightenhim.
"It wouldn't have mattered, if I'd had you. And if it had happened, then I would have taken that as a blessing. If not, I would have loved youanyway."
She pressed her closed fists against hischest.
"You would have beenenough—"
"Please don't." She buried her face against his chest, her shoulders shaking with her sobs. "I just wanted you to know." Her voice held the desolation of all those lost years. "That I never meant to hurt you. I never meant any of it. But we could never be together and it broke my heart to leaveyou."
A hand stirred through her hair, clasping her against him, and that only made itharder.
She didn't deserve hisforgiveness.
"We only have tonight," she whispered hoarsely, lifting her tearstained face to his. "I don't want to waste a single second of it ontears."
Clasping his cheek, she pressed her mouth to his, begging for hiskiss.
And this time he gave it to her, burning away all the sadness as he lifted her up into his arms, her legs around his hips, and strode back inside thehut.
15
One more day.Árdís curled her arms around Haakon as they rode north, feeling quiet and subdued. She was beginning to hate the silences that fell between them, as if neither of them dared breakit.
One more day and she'd be free of the cursed manacle. One more day and he'd be on his ship, sailing away from her forever. Safe. No longer plagued by the machinations ofdreki.
