Page 103 of Storm of Desire
Haakon craned his head back, his gut dropping as he saw her in the crow's nest. "What the hell is she doing?" He swore, and then strode along the deck, but Tormund captured hisarm.
"Leave her be. She spent most of the previous trip up there too. I think it makes her feel as though she'sflying."
Flying.
His stomach felt like it plummeted. His first instinct had been to get her safely down, but as he watched her lean into the wind, her red skirts fluttering behind her like wings as she laughed, he realized Árdís was exactly where she needed tobe.
"She's adrekiprincess, Haakon. And you're still thinking of her as Árja, the woman you married, but she was never truly that woman. She buried her true nature, and there's only so long she can live that life. This was never going to end with you throwing her over your shoulder and sailing back to Viksholm. The life you knew is gone. If you want her, truly want her, then you might have to accept a different Árja. A different life. One filled with volcanoes, and treasure, and a host ofdrekimales who would see you a threat. Enemies you cannot even conceive of." His voice softened. "I think she knows exactly what she's dragged you into. She's frightened you can't accept her world. She's terrified you'll be killed. And her reasons for such an assumption are legitimate reasons. If you want her to fight for you, Haakon, then you need to convince her you want thedrekiprincess, and not just the dream the pair of you conjured. You need to convince her you're man enough to handleherworld. And surviveit."
Everything Tormund said was thetruth.
She wasn't just Árja, the wife he'd promised to protect until his dying breath. Saving her had been the only thing that kept him going for the last seven hellish years, but Árdís didn't need saving. Not the way he'd been thinking of. She'd fled her mother's court, saved Marek from certain death, and managed to tear her cousin Roar to pieces when provoked. If it came down to it, he was more vulnerable thanshe.
Nor was she merely adrekiprincess, tied to her court and her people, but determined to live her ownlife.
She was both the woman he loved, and the princess who wanted him to see her. To understand her. A woman taking her first brave steps into a new world where she finally had choices, and throwing off the shackles of her mother's domineeringshadow.
If he wanted Árdís to fight for him, then he had to let her doso.
If he wanted her to choose him, then he had to confront his own stiflingurges.
Keeping her in his life was not his decision to make. He'd known that, but he'd only been halfway to thetruth.
She needed a warrior, one who wasn't afraid to standat her side, instead of in front of her, using his body as her shield. Her mother had planted so many doubts in her head. He couldn't continue to contribute tothem.
To save her, he had to set her free. To let her become what she was always meant tobecome.
He had to get that manacle off her. She was born to soar the skies, and his own contrary nature was keeping her locked away on theearth.
But how could he release her when he wasn't even consciously aware of keeping hercontained?
It was his innate fear of losing her that held hercaptive.
Fear. It all came back to fear. Árdís's fear to reach for what she wanted. His fear of letting her go, knowing she might be too afraid to choosehim.
Running away from her mother was only half a solution. If they didn't deal with the queen, then perhaps she'd never truly be able to spread her wings. Rurik's territory would merely be another cage, albeit larger than the one she'dinhabited.
And he wanted her to live this new life she craved so badly, even if she did not choosehim.
His gaze began to focus, and he realized he was staring at his cousin. Throughhim.
"It's a lovely face and all," Tormund said, "but I know I'm not what's held you speechless for the last minute or so. What are youplanning?"
"You'reright."
Abouteverything.
"You can say that a little louder if you want to," Tormund saidpromptly.
"I cannot mount an assault on thedrekicourt," he said thoughtfully. Slowly. Plans began to stir through his mind. "And I cannot fight the queen's magic, or herdrekipawns. I have nothing but a sword, a ballista, and my own body. Árdís can wield her mother's magic, but she cannot fight alone. We need each other, if we're to have any chance of defeating hermother."
Tormund blinked. "You're going to let her fight hermother?"
"If she will." He turned toward the passenger cabin. "That doesn't mean I'm merely going to stand back and watch. Árdís is better equipped for this fight than I ever will be, but she needs me to stand at her side. I hunt monsters. I kill dragons. Magic or not, thedrekiqueen is merely another monster. She's not invincible. There has to be some way to defeather."
"I'm liking the sound of this," Tormundsaid.
You would. It made him pause though. People would die if he threw himself into a war with thedrekiqueen. "I need allies. But this is not yourfight."
