Page 124 of Storm of Desire
Curling her hands into her hair, she pulled hard, to try and containit.
"Árdís, it's not thering."
Árdís sunk to her knees. "Iknow."
Rurik stretched out beside her, slinging his legs over the edge of the ledge. "It sounds like you're trying to bond with your husband. Yourdreki, your soul, has chosen him as a mate. If you were a male, I would be certain ofit."
"It's not possible," she blurted, heart pounding swiftly. It was the same argument she'd told herself. "I'm a femaledreki. And he'shuman."
"As is Freyja," Rurik countered, and then frowned again. "At least, I'm fairly certain she's mostlyhuman."
The wind whipped her hair behind her, but it was her thoughts that feltscattered.
How could thisbe?
She'd been so uncertain, but all of the puzzle pieces seemed to lock together until she could no longer see them separately, but only as a whole. Her heart swelled at thethought.
But while she might have finally discovered what her strange behavioral patterns meant, it only complicated mattersfurther.
"He's my twin flame," she whispered, daring to say the words out loud for the first time. If she bonded with him, then Haakon's life would extend to match hers. He'd be harder to kill, but she'd become more vulnerable. They could have forever. If she could bond with him.... "I'm a femaledreki, Rurik. And the males initiate the bond. Not thefemales."
How ironic that she could find what she'd been looking for all her life, only to be unable to take this last crucialstep.
It all made too much sense for her to dispute. A shudder ran through her, thedrekisliding beneath her skin as if to reassure her, that yes, this was what it had been trying to tell her allalong.
What Fáfnir hadsensed.
It had never been about the ring atall.
"Do they?" Rurik rested a hand on her shoulder. "Árdís, perhaps it's not that females cannot initiate a bond, but that the males always do first, as they know before the femalesdo."
"I was married to him, Rurik. Surely there would have been some signs during those three years. Perhaps we're simply grasping at straws." She couldn't help feeling doubt. Wantingreassurance.
"You were young, barely past your first cycle oflife."
And she'd been frightened of the future, of committing herself to Haakon. Her heart skipped a beat. A part of her had always held back fromhim.
"How many mated couples have you known where one of the pair is human?" heasked.
Shepaused.
"I know none myself. To take a human lover can be overlooked, but to take one as a mate? The court would gasp inhorror."
"You are not helping thissituation."
He smiled and bumped his shoulder against hers, and it reminded her of how long it had been since she'd been able to enjoy the company of those she called family, let alone trusted them. "Don't give up hope. You'redreki. There's nothing a maledrekican do—in my experience—that a female cannot, so I doubt you couldn't choose to bond with your husband if you truly wished to do so. And if he accepted thebond."
"Mother will kill him if she hears word ofthis."
Rurik made a low, growling sound in his throat. "She will try. Just as she will try to harm Freyja if she comes to know of her existence. But first she has to get through either ofus."
"I daresay Freyja has her own opinions onthat."
"I daresay." His lips kicked up. "She usuallydoes."
"I likeher."
"So doI."
