Page 83 of Storm of Desire
Árdís wiped her fingers clean on the rag Haakon handed to her. She was recognized as an adult in thedrekiworld, but she'd never felt the press of the mating urge before. And it wasn't as though she'd hoped. Birthing adreklingwould have been catastrophic for both her and the child, but sometimes when his mother had spoken of grandchildren, she'd felt this peculiar twisting deep inside. She was seventy years old, and fewdrekifemales had ever felt the mating urge soyoung.
Haakon would have been an old man before she'd ever have delivered him a child. If they were bonded, he'd age as she would, but they weren't. Even time seemed to weigh againstthem.
"What's wrong?" he asked, clearly seeing it on herface.
"Nothing," she said sharply, and pushed to her feet. All of a sudden she couldn't handle this idle conversation. This nothingness. Guilt weighed so heavily upon her. "I need some fresh air. Perhaps dinner disagreed withme."
Stumbling out into the darkness, she paused at the edge of the river they were camped by. She would have stolen his future from him—the joy of having a family—if she'd stayed with him. Within a handful of years, his mother's gentle good wishes would have become a littlesharper.
And she couldn't have borne seeing the eventual disappointment in hiseyes.
She'd never felt lonelier in her entirelife.
The door to the hut creaked as Haakon followed her. The rain had slackened into a fine mist, and she turned her face to the sky so he'd hopefully think the tears in her eyes were just that.Rain.
"You'reupset."
"No, I'm not," shewhispered.
"I swear you would say the sky was green, if I said it was blue." He made a growling sound deep in his throat as he joined her. "Do me the courtesy of presuming I knowyou."
"Doyou?"
"Yes," he said shortly. "Ido."
Cool wind blew past both of them. She had no words. Everything she wanted to say caught within her throat. And if she let a single word out, she was frightened more would follow. A spill of emotion she couldn't contain. Being in his arms had broken down her defenses toofar.
"Here." Haakon slipped the enormous wolf fur cloak from his shoulders. He draped it around hers, and Árdís couldn't help snuggling into the heatedfolds.
She could scent him in the fur, and turned her nose into the collar to breathe it in, like a guiltythief.
She wanted to press her face there, to drink in the heat left from his body. To cling to something she'd thought longlost.
"Something's gotten into you tonight." Slowly, his hands drew the cloak closed, and he pushed the pin through it to hold it in place. His knuckles rested there, holding the cloak. "I didn't hurt you, did I? I wasn't gentle, but Itried...."
"Of coursenot."
Her head reached almost to hischin.
If she lifted up onto her toes, and he bent his face down, their lips might meet. She wanted that kiss sobadly.
The night seemed so quiet around them. They were alone out here, miles from anywhere. And the gathering darkness seemed to wrap around them like some sort of conspiratorial cocoon, tempting her to whisper her secretconfidences.
"It'snot...."
Hewaited.
"I...."
Soft hands cupped her face, slowly lifting her eyes to his. Haakon stroked her cheeks with both thumbs. "I was angry before, because I thought you were throwing everything away. No. I thought you were throwingmeaway. I didn'tunderstand."
"It's just a ring," she saidswiftly.
It's not the ring, you fool.It was never thering.
She'd finally figured out what she'd been holding on to so tightly. She'd never dared give in to her feelings for him, so she'd somehow transferred that to the ring. If it belonged to her, then there was a part of him with her at all times. But now it was gone, and then he would vanish too, and she'd be left withnothing.
It hurt. It hurt sobadly.
