Page 85 of The Hero Within
"Well, you didn't exactlyaskme to come. I seem to recall blackmailanda shitty attempt at seduction," he joked, the words completely bypassing his brain and leaping from his mouth before he could catch them.
The second they hovered in the air, he had this sensation, like the ground dropped out from beneath his feet.Uh-oh.
Eden reared back, her eyes shocked and wide, and Johnny saw utter devastation flash through her eyes, as if he'd just confirmed every fear she had. He had no fucking idea what to do, how to help, how to....
Touch her, you idiot.
Johnny grabbed her by the shoulders, squeezing gently. "Eden." His voice roughened. "Breathe."
"I am breathing." She dug the heels of her palms into her eyes as if to hide from whatever she'd seen when he'd said it.
Tremors wracked her. Not massive, Eden-shattering tremors, but a shiver that shook through her from head to toe, as if her lungs were pulsing, trying to suck in air, but she was too afraid to let herself, just in case a sob escaped.
"I didn't mean it like that," he murmured, easing her into his arms. Every inch of her was tight and restrained, and she wrapped her arms around herself as if she didn't want to wrap them around him.
Because you're an utter dick....
"It just came out. I wasn't thinking." The creeping lassitude of his omega half began to assert itself, but for the first time in years it wasn't helping him.
Or her.
"You know what this life is like, angel. I could have died a hundred times in the past. I've come damned close to it at times. If something happens to me, it's because I put my own feet on this path. You're not responsible for me."
Not yet, anyway.
Maybe never.
But her fear softened the argument they'd had earlier because she wouldn't be so bloody upset if she didn't give a damn, would she?
That cursed nugget of hope stirred in his chest.
Johnny stroked her hair. It was the thing he adored most. And as he stroked, he felt her begin to soften in his arms, her face pressed firmly into his chest.
More than anything that had happened between them last night, this felt like they both took a dangerous step forward into... whatever the hell was building between them.
"Want to tell me what's bothering you? What flashed through your mind when I said that?"
"Is it so inconceivable I might actuallynotwant to see you end up in a Confederacy prison?" A little bit of snap came back into her voice.
That's the spirit.
Eden McClain with her eyes blazing and her hands on her hips was a force to be reckoned with.
He didn't like it when the determination in her eyes was replaced with something sad.
"You're worried about me," he repeated, just to make sure he'd gotten the facts right. "You don't want me to come because you're worried the Confederacy will get their hands on me?"
"They break wargs. Arik's been there. He said they shock them, again and again. Use drugs to confuse them. Beat them down. Torture."
"Yeah," his voice thickened. "I know what they do. You want to know the truth? It scares the fuck out of me. Because I've been there. I've broken before. I know... I know what could happen." His gaze focused on her face, thumbs tracing the array of freckles that splayed lightly across her cheeks, as he gave her a little piece of the Cane puzzle. "You know what scares me more? The idea of you walking into that trap without me. Of not being able to protect you. Not knowing what's happening to you. Maybe never seeing you again.... I can't do that."
Eden looked up, misery written across her face. "I spent nearly ten years wearing guilt over Adam on my shoulders. I don't want.... If anything happened to you, and it was my fault.... You're right. I blackmailed you into coming."
"Trust me, darlin'." He stroked his fingers down the back of her neck. "You couldn't have forced me if you'd tried. I came because I couldn't stay away—"
"BecauseIinsisted."
"Because I couldn't let you cross the Great Divide by yourself, no matter how much I tried to talk myself into it. You're not the only one who knows what guilt feels like. I owed it to you to try and make amends." He felt a shiver run through her as he turned his hand, so his thumb rasped against the soft skin just behind her ear. "I'm a fully grown adult, Eden. I made a choice to escort you and whatever happens, that's on me. Stop trying to take on the weight of the world. I get it. I know why you're doing it. I—"
