Page 92 of The Hero Within
No men?Ha.
There was a man standing here right now—one who destroyed the careful fabric of her world and made her question everything—demanding to know where he fit inherlife.
Johnny Colton struck a flame within her that was so overwhelming it threatened to sweep her away.
And it wasbecausehe threatened her guarded heart, because of the sheer intensity of the passion between them, that she'd refused to paint herself within the picture she'd offered him.
"Fuck," she whispered, because that word was somehow completely apropos.
Everythinghadhappened quickly.
That didn't mean what she felt for him wasn't real. She'd been battling for days, trying to fix a label to what he meant to her. Trying to somehow fit him into the order of her life, in a nice, safe fashion.
You're attracted to him, but that's okay because maybe he wasn't the monster you thought he was.
You had sex with him, but that's okay because you're under a shit-ton of stress.
She'd made excuses for everything that had happened between them, so she didn't have to examine the root cause of why she couldn't deny this man.
You have feelings for him.
It would be very, very easy to fall in love with him.
She had a sudden brief flash of a future, this time with herself woven through the tapestry.
Lazy mornings in his arms in bed. Soft kisses. The smell of sizzling bacon when she woke because he'd banned her from the kitchen, and taken over those duties himself. Arms slipping around her waist from behind, and kisses nuzzling her neck, as he pulled her from her work and reminded her she'd been at it all day. Someone to talk to about her daily frustrations. Someone to listen to. A baby on her shoulder, one with black, black hair and beautiful olive skin. And a smile on his face when he returned from his own work during the day; the smile of a man at peace with himself.
It wasn't just a future created for Johnny, to fill the hollows in his heart, but one for her too.
It was, if she let herself believe it, a possible future that brightened all the cold moments of her own life, and filled the void she'd barely even realized was there.
And it frightened her so much a shiver of cold ran through her.
Not because she knew he'd break her heart—but because she was afraid to give him the chance to try.
Chapter Eighteen
Cortez City loomedout of the grasslands like an iron behemoth, the wall that stretched between it and its fellow city-states running like a ruler across the land. Built to keep out the wargs, the reivers, and probably the Wastelanders, it was solid concrete that stretched twenty feet high.
A dam shimmered beneath the sun to the north of the city. The wall enclosed Cortez. Eden squatted at Johnny's side and handed Arik's binoculars back to him. They'd settled into a wary sort of truce again, and she hadn't been able to say a damned word with Arik and Lincoln at his side.
"You're right. There's no way in."
"Not through the front gates, anyway," Arik muttered.
"Okay, Captain Man-bun," she muttered. "How do we get in?"
Arik crouched low as he crossed the ground to where they'd left their packs. "Same way I got out. Follow me."
Scrambling north toward the dam, he kept the pace up. Eden's breath came in harsh pants, and she noticed Johnny followed on her heels, almost as if was prepared to catch her if she fell. Eden didn't know if her fitness sucked or if she was simply worn out after most of the week on foot, but by the time they got within range of the dam, she was struggling to put one foot after the other.
"Water break," Johnny called, forcing the two wargs ahead of her to stop.
"I know what you're doing. You don't have to stop for my sake," she said, though she bent over and rested both palms on her upper thighs. "I can do this."
Johnny helped her ease the pack off her shoulders. He'd packed them, and she'd noticed hers was suspiciously lighter this morning. "I don't doubt you can. But the three of us aren't human, Eden, and you shouldn't be trying to keep up with us."
Eden. She almost missed the "angel."
