Page 99 of Clash of Storms
She could feel him reaching deep within himself.
"Let me go, Malin."
She shook her head. Forced herself to stop."I will never forget you."
"Nor I you."A hint of warmth surrounded her, his heart splayed bare for one precious moment, as Sirius opened himself up wholly, revealing all his secrets."I never told you but the first time I ever saw you took me like an arrow to the heart. Do you truly want to know why my bed was so cold for all those years?"
Memory rose up to consume her, but they were his memories. His eyes she looked through as she saw herself curtsy before a foreign princess the first night she'd ever met him. And all that he'd hidden from her swept through her like a blaze of fire.
The brush of their hands as he reached for the wine goblet all those years ago.... The instant sear of connection. The shock of knowing.
"I knew the second I touched you that you were meant for me."
Malin gasped. She'daskedhim if he was mating with her."But you said...."
"I never said no."
Drekilies. Twisting their words so carefully until the truth was a mere garnish. She, of all people, should have been aware to look for it, but the shock of the sudden revelation had momentarily blinded her. She tried desperately to remember that conversation.
This was why he'd never bedded another.
This was why he hadn't taken her the other night. To do so would entwine them together so forcefully they could never be broken apart, and he'd known there was no future between them.
It was her.
It had always been her.
Sirius stroked her mind, as if to caress her one last time."Of course it was you, sweet Malin. My impossible dream. My stubborn, infuriating little drekling. Every day for the last ten years the sun has risen and set in your smile. Though I did not dare reach for it, it always warmed me. You are my heart. My true flame. And I cursed you for so many years, for I could never have you. I knew how this story ended."
Malin slowly sank to her knees. How had she not seen it?
With the revelation, all the pieces finally fit together. He'd told her a thousand times, in a thousand different ways.
"I have no regrets, Malin. It was all worth it, even this, to know you just once. To have you look at me the way I've always hoped for. I would sacrifice my soul for the chance to hold you in my arms one more time, but I cannot. You already own it."
"Sirius—"
"I know."He began to withdraw."There is one last thing. This is how you shift, Malin. I want you to promise you will keep trying. Regardless of whether you fail or not. Promise me you won't ever give up."
"Sirius!"
"Promise me."
She could feel him opening himself up to the flame of his magic. It burned like frostfire through his veins, a conflagration she could barely withstand, in comparison to the small heated coal of her own magic.
He embraced it with open arms, throwing his own wide. They stood on the edge of that cliff again, and Malin could feel her own magic quiver within her, as if that small, tiny flame deep inside her longed to burst free.
And then Sirius threw himself into that burning pool of power as if he did not fear it.
The flame roared through them, burning her to cinders.
Power drenched them; transformed them.
He shifted, his arms lengthening into wings, and his maw opening on a fierce cry of exultation. She felt every inch of it as if something burst from her own chest.
When Malin came back to herself, she could barely feel their link anymore. The shock of the transformation tingled through her, and something inside her pushed within her skin, as if it sought to escape her.
The enormous blackdrekibowed its head to her from across the field."You are more powerful than you can ever know, Malin. Don't ever fear it again. You will fly. One day. And when you do, I want you to think of me."A tinge of regret stained the link."And of what could have been, between us."
