Page 31 of Dukes Are Forever
"Oh?"
Malloryn set the glass down. "First one to submit."
Gemma burst into a laugh. "No wonder you've got your britches in a twist. My, my, all is not going according to plan?"
"Actually, this works perfectly," he mused. "It gives me time to work out Adele's loyalties without having to push her into bed."
"I shouldn't have thought it would be a problem? You're clearly attracted to the girl."
Attraction wasn't the problem. It never had been.
Others may have been indiscriminate with their bed partners over the years, but he'd never been comfortable flitting from bed to bed. He'd suffered enough betrayal in his lifetime to warrant a natural caution when it came to taking a lover. He desired trust, in the least, and preferred a mutual friendship, if he could find it.
He had none of those aspects with Adele.
Only pure, carnal desire.
Challenge.
An odd sense of grudging respect.
"This is merely a means to an end," he replied. "I need to know Adele's loyalties, not... whether we are well-matched in bed."
"You should find out." Gemma shook her head. "It's been months since you've even glanced at a woman. It worries me. I know you still regret what happened to Isabella, but it wasn't your fault. You cannot simply lock yourself away like a monk, just because Balfour's a threat to anyone who gets close to you."
And there it was.
The other reason he didn't dare get too close to another woman.
The baroness had been at his side for years. First as a friend, and then as a lover, and now, as yet another weight upon his stained soul. He'd tried to protect Isabella by ending their arrangement, but it had been too late.
Balfour had used his neural stimulating device to make her betray the Company of Rogues, and then kill herself.
"I love you," she'd said, and they'd both known he didn't feel the same. He'd seen the fire in Isabella's eyes die as she realized she'd never been more than a friend to him. Seen it fill her from within with bitterness.
Guilt. What a familiar taste it left in his mouth.
"Watch me," he murmured.
Gemma shot him a long, slow look. "You've never spoken about it."
"What is there to say? Balfour killed her because he thought he could hurt me."He succeeded."Until I have his heart in my hand, nobody is safe and I cannot allow any distractions."
"You—"
"I need to speak to the queen," he said, pushing to his feet and swaying just slightly.
"You need sleep."
He shrugged back into his coat.What little of it I can manage to snatch....He wasn't tired enough to guarantee himself a dreamless slumber if he tried. And with Balfour arisen from the shadows and Jelena lurking out there somewhere, he doubted even exhaustion would allow him such.
"Unfortunately, there's no rest for the wicked."
"Are you still having nightmares?" Gemma said, stepping directly in his path.
He glanced toward the door. She was the only one who knew. He'd like to keep it that way. "They come and go."
Sympathy softened her face. "If you wanted to talk about it—"
