Page 119 of Storm of Fury
Sigurdsson. Not once had he spoke of that name. Not once.
“By the time Ruth passed, Tormund was almost as tall as his brother. Tomas took him in as it was his Christian duty, but he and his wife never let the boy forget that his arrival had shamed both Sigurd and Ruth. You’d often see Tormund roaming the streets in old cast-off clothes, half-fed, bruised, covered in dirt…. Tomas said the boy was wild, and maybe he was, but if so, then he was taught to be that way. And it was only five or six years later that we realized Tomas had long disowned him. He’d been feeding himself for nearly a year, and he was an angry little thing. When Haakon brought him home, I thought he’d near eat us out of house and home, but my mother was so angry that he’d been left to fare for himself, that she didn’t mind.” Leah looked Bryn in the eye. “And yet, for all of that, he is the kindest, gentlest man I have ever met. But you should understand why we all hope for the best for him. Tormund deserves a kinder future than the past he has led.”
It was a warning, though not the one she’d expected Leah to provide. And for the first time, she couldn’t find it in herself to deny the truth between them. Not right now, when she’d been staring at him as if she could feel him being torn from her grasp.
“He does,” she said softly. “He deserves to be loved. He deserves… everything.”
If I had one wish in the world, it would be this: For someone to love me the way that I love them….
Those words pierced Bryn through and through, for despite his smiles, there was a yearning within him that she feared she couldn’t slake.
“It has never been Tormund or his feelings that I doubt. He deserves someone better than me.”
There. She’d said it.
He would love her, because he wanted to love her.
She knew it as surely as she knew her name.
But would it last forever?
Would she ever be able to cast aside the feeling that she didn’t deserve it? How could she prove herself worthy, when she felt so utterly wretched inside?
Liar. Thief. Betrayer.
She had played all of those parts in the last hundred years. She had turned from the gods, turned from the role her mother had always dreamed for her. But then, had she ever truly filled that role either? She’d tried, so, so hard, but even when she’d won a dozen challenges, a hundred, she’d always somehow felt unworthy of her mother’s love. She’d always felt as though she played a part, and that some day she would fall down.
Maybe Róta had merely showed her the truth—that she was unworthy. Of her mother. Of her sisters. Of the gods.
And now, of Tormund.
A hand found hers, and Bryn realized she was staring at him through a blur of unshed tears.Gods. She never cried. But Leah’s gentle squeeze seemed to wreck her from within. Bryn brushed at her hot eyes, shaking her head, but then there were arms around her, and she couldn’t fight it any longer.
“You fool,” Leah whispered. “If you loved him, then you would be good enough, Bryn. You would always be good enough. If you were honest and true to him, you would make him happy.”
She pushed away, unable to stomach those words or the warm embrace. “I can’t be the one for him. I have…. I have a debt to repay. I have a fate to fulfill, an oath to renew. I am bound by my past, and the road I walk doesn’t have room for him at my side.”
Valkyries were wed to their oaths to Odin and Freyja. Lovers were encouraged, but never for long. The sisterhood meant everything. Theiroathsmeant all.
She couldn’t haveboth.
To love him meant giving up everything she’d ever yearned for. Everything that had kept her on her feet for the last hundred years, moving stubbornly forward, or she could….
What?
Forsake it again?
Spit on her mother’s grave? Give up her mission of vengeance? Turn her back on her sisters once and for all?
The idea made her feel sick. It was all she’d ever had, all she’d ever earned.
And without it, what was she? Who was she?
A mercenary?
A cold, bitter, bruised woman whose only value lay in the strength of her sword arm?
Leah squeezed her biceps. “And once your debts are paid, what then? Will you be happy without him? Because it doesn’t sound like this fate you strive for is one you’ve chosen yourself.”
