Page 158 of Crown of Darkness
There was child, Vi. The fourth time you went away, you came back swollen with child. A little girl with your mouth. You named her Amaya—
Amaya.
The word strikes through me like a bell that’s been rung.
Hammerstrikes of memory assault me.
And then I’m falling, falling, my hand clutching my head as another layer of curse work shatters and I’m swept into the past….
* * *
Pain.And desperation.
And fear.
“Push,” snaps a hard voice. “Push.”
I can’t do it. I can’t get through this.If I push, then my mother will take my baby away.
“No!” I scream, biting my knuckles.Help me. Help me, please. It’s tearing me in two.
I need him. I need him so badly, and he’s not here, and I’m so weak that I don’t know if I have the strength to fight them all.Thiago!I throw the thought out into the night, but there’s no answer.
And there won’t be.
This little ruined keep of Clydain—which has been my home for the past six months—is far to the north of Asturia and warded by so many levels of magic that no one will ever hear me or see me again.
“Please… no.” Another spasm of pain tears me into two, and my spine bows as I scream.
“You have to push!”
“Vi.” Someone kneels beside me, taking me by the hand, and I clutch at them as if they’re my last lifeline.
I can barely breathe, every iota of my being tryingnotto birth this baby. It’s the only way I can protect her, and every inch of me contorts with pain.
But suddenly Andraste’s face is next to mine. “If you don’t push,” she says, “your baby will die.”
I burst into tears, gasping raggedly. “Please don’t let her take my baby….Please.”
My sister’s face dissolves as the unbearable urge to push takes over. Gods, it hurts. Every panting breath feels like I’m being torn in two. But I beg her. I beg her with my eyes and the entire whole of my being.
“That’s it!” the midwife encourages. “Bear down, Princess.”
“I’ll protect her as if she is my own,” Andraste says, cradling me as I shake. “I promise, Vi. I’ll never let anything happen to her.” And then her voice drops, until it’s only a whisper. “In Maia’s name, Vi. Iwillprotect her no matter what I must do.”
It’s the only thing I can hold on to as I scream and grunt and push.
And then suddenly the pressure is gone, and my body collapses back in Andraste’s arms as the baby slips free of me.
My baby. My baby. I try to raise my arm….
The midwife lifts her head from between my thighs, a little bundle in her arms. A cry splits the air, and sweet Maia, but my baby is breathing. My baby’s breathing and blessed gods, she’s so—
“Show me.” A voice cuts through my haze, and then my mother swims out of the shadows.
Every inch of her is smothered in black, and the golden crown on her head seems to loom over all of us. She’s never far from it.
“No.” I tense, but Andraste’s grip on my hands tightens.
