Page 38 of From London, With Love
Gideon paused as he picked up the chess pieces. “To be named consort has never been my ambition.”
The words made her falter.
“No?” She gave a careless shrug, but she felt the blow.
He looked up from where he knelt beside the small table. “I have never desired power for power’s sake. You know that.”
“So, you’re the only man in England who does not desire to marry me?”
“I didn’t say that.” He dumped all the chess pieces in the box and snapped it shut. “You are an amazing woman. Despite all that you have lost, you have always sought to give your people the best you could manage. You have fought for them, suffered for them, and all because you see yourself not as subjugator but as subject, bound to serve your people. I have long been in awe of you. Any man would be honored to be your husband. Not because of what you could offer him, but for what you gift him with your mere presence.” He paused, then growled under his breath. “Your husband will be a lucky man.”
She couldn’t quite meet his gaze.
“If I can bring myself to take one.”
Moving toward her, he knelt on the edge of the divan, the neat pressed line of his slacks tightening over his thigh. Alexandra sucked in a sharp breath, a little thrill shivering over her skin.
“I would say you are progressing nicely,” he murmured. “You nearly stole my virtue against the door of the drawing room.”
“You’re hardly an innocent, Gideon.”
His lashes lowered in a dark curtain over his eyes as his gaze dropped to her lips. “I’m forty-three. I have learned a trick or two in my time.”
“Such an old man,” she teased.
“A wise man who knows you should be wooed.”
“Your definition of the word appears to be dissimilar to mine.”
“Does it?” He captured her hand, his thumb rasping across the delicate skin on the back of it. “You fear physical intimacies. Why, then, would I force them? I merely meant to allow you time to relax.”
Alexandra swallowed. “Does not my desire speak for itself?”
“Is it desire that drives your urgency? Or fear? Fear you will never be able to allow yourself physical surrender?”
His words struck her to the core.
“I do not want you desperate,” he said. “I want you to be certain. I want you to be comfortable. I want you to feel cherished. I can wait, Alexandra.”
But could she?
“If I cannot bring myself to bear such intimacies now,” she whispered, “then will I ever be able to? My physicians are already concerned about my advanced age.”
He kissed her palm, pressing her hand to his cheek for a long second while she swallowed down the pain.
“Curse your physicians. There are nearly ten years between us. You makemefeel old, at times.”
“Wise,” she teased, stroking his cheek. Her smile faded. “You always know my mind, even before I myself know it.”
“I knowyou. I know your fears, because I want to protect you from them. I know your worries, because I want to share them.”
Alexandra took in a deep breath. “Has a queen ever known such fealty?”
Gideon slowly looked up. “It was never fealty, Alexa. Fealty implies a debt, and what I would give you is everything, and willingly.”
She looked away. His confession was too much. “Even if….”
“Always,” he promised. “No matter what may come, you will always have my heart. It was gifted to you long ago, and I may never take it back.”
