Page 30 of Thief of Souls
“But who? You must be able to guess,” he says. “From all my information, it seems she infiltrated the lady Anissa’s household as her maid. Was the Lady Anissa her target? Was she trying to fool her the way you fooled me?”
“It won’t be Anissa. And,” I point out, “I tried to avoid you. I tried to give you every reason to pursue some other princess.” Even though avoiding him earned me nothing more than his interest. “I was there for a job. I didn’t want to mislead you—if you’d just accepted my rebuff, we wouldn’t be in this situation.”
It’s not the whole truth.
My heart is not mine to give. Without my soul, I’m my father’s puppet. I don’t even have the autonomy to allow myself to care.
And yet, I couldn’t stop myself from wanting him.
I couldn’t avoid the guilt that came with each lie I told him.
For the first time in my life, I yearned to be free to make my own choices. I’ve never been so envious of a fae princess in my life. The other potential brides might have been fools, but there was nothing standing in their way should Keir have looked at any of them.
Except, he was looking at me.
And I didn’t dare return the favor.
Something in Keir’s expression hardens. “You play an excellent part. Tell me…, does lying come so easily to you?”
“Yes. It does.” Learning to lie is the only thing that kept my head on my shoulders during my trials. And I can’t stop my eyebrows from rising. “You had twenty princesses kissing your boots. You were hardly lacking for female worshippers. Don’t tell me you bear a grudge because I didn’t wilt at your feet.”
“No grudge.” His voice roughens. “I just don’t like being lied to. Particularly when it comes to matters of the heart.”
“Oh, please. The only reason you decided I was the one you wanted to pursue isbecauseI wasn’t kissing your boots. You had no personal interest in me.”
Keir’s finger circles the rim of his glass, and if he had a tail it would be lashing behind him. “Do you know the worst part of this entire debacle?”
“What?”
Our eyes meet.
“I would have married you,” he says coldly. “I would have taken you as my wife and I could have loved you. Forever. So thank you for revealing your true intentions before it was too late. Because it would have been the biggest mistake of my life.”
He drains his wine and pushes to his feet, turning to stir the hot coals in the fireplace with the poker.
“Take the room on the left, Zemira.” He strides toward the door. “I’m going to return to the ball.”
“The ball—?”
“You want me to be a distraction? Then I will be a distraction.” His smile as he reaches for the door handle is vicious. “After all, we’re both fae, are we not? Marriage is merely an alliance. Nothing more. Nobody will care whose bed I’m in. Yours… or someone else’s. I will be the best distraction you could have asked for.”
The door slams behind him, leaving me staring after him helplessly.
Someone else’s….
“Right,” I mutter under my breath, sitting on the edge of the mattress and then letting myself crash onto my back. “This is just a job. Find Soraya. Find the horn. Fuck them all.”
It’s so much easier now he knows the truth.
Now I don’t have to pretend.
It hurts the same though.
6
Keir would have married me.
I don’t know what to make of those words.
