Page 100 of Curse of Darkness
And by the time I realized, it was too late.
“Amaya, I’m so sorry. He wasn’t trying to hurt you. He was just… rattled. It’s been a trying time for him.”
“I’m fine,” she says stubbornly.
“I’m fine,” he said too, lying through his teeth.
Like father, like daughter.
“Why don’t you come in for dinner? We’ll—”
“I don’t want to eat,” she says, hopping up on the wall as if to taunt me and walking along it, one foot in front of the other. “I don’t want to come in.”
She knows I hate it. She knows I just want to grab her down.
A little burr of irritation itches through me. “Yes, well, sometimes we don’t get what we want.”
“You don’t think I know that?” she yells at me. “I don’t getanythingI want!”
Thunder rumbles through the sky in ominous counterpoint.
I try again. “It’s going to rain—”
“Let it!”
That’s enough.“Amaya. Please climb down from the wall and come inside. Dinner is going to get cold. We’re going to get wet. You can tell me what’s bothering you while we eat.”
“I just want to gohome.I want to see my friends. I want to be in my own bed. I want to….” A sob escapes her. “I want to see mymother.”
Old Mother Hibbert.
I swallow down all the feelings those words engender, choking on their jagged edges.She’s young. She’s lost everything she’s ever known. She’s frightened.“It’s not safe for you to go back to the hut where you grew up. And I’m so sorry about what happened to her. Maybe when this is over, we’ll be able to visit the other children? This is your home now but maybe—”
“It’s not my home,” she screams. “I hate you!”
And then she bursts into tears.
I can’t do anything. I can’t even move as the words hang in the air between us.
A hundred emotions rampage through me.
Anger. Frustration. Hurt.
Failure.
It’s that one I think I feel the most.
And I want to scream back at her.Get inside. Do as you’re told. I am trying to protect you!
Indeed, if I had the breath right now, I probably would be screaming them.
The same way my mother screamed at me.
I won’t be like her.
I won’t let my anger and hurt rule me.
“Amaya.” I curl my fingers into a fist as I start along the wall toward her and take a deep breath.It’s a bad day; she’s just having a bad day. I haven’t been here for her much this week….She’s scared. I screwed up.But all I hear are those three horrible words echoing in my ears. “That’s not true. I know it’s not true. And even… even if you do feel that way, I loveyou. Please come down. Please come to dinner. We can talk about what’s going on. And why you feel this way.”
