Page 153 of Curse of Darkness
“Ravenal’s always played the neutral card, Lucere. If you abstain—”
“Then it means you will have to deal with your mother’s claims.”
“If my mother wants her crown back, then she can fucking challenge me to a duel for it.”
Lucere stares at my face, her cheeks paling. “You’re serious?”
Digging my thumbs under the hollow of my eyebrows, I force myself to consider the situation strategically. If Lucere votes for us, she’ll lose everything, and we both know she won’t do that. If she votes against us, then we must either withdraw from the alliance—which leaves us with no allies in a war we can’t win—or we have to hand over the crown.
There’s only one option left.
And Mother knows it.
“This is what she wants.” She’s played her cards well, but then she always does. “So we’ll give it to her.”
Mother thinks I’m weak.
Powerless. Struggling to work my magic. Blocked.
But I’ve seen the strain on her face. I used to think she was undefeatable, but that was fear speaking. That was the little girl inside me who was forced to cower before her. She’s lost her oak, her bond to the lands. She’s lost her crown. Her daughters have both turned against her.
In a fucked-up way, that last one is probably the thing that cuts her deepest.
It’s never been love, but she always saw us as hers.
Her possessions. Her belongings. Her pawns.
Betrayal is the one thing that affects her the most, and in some way she probably sees our defiance as betrayal.
“True bravery isn’t always about fighting with the weapons you have. Sometimes it’s about facing the doubt and fear within yourself and refusing to give them voice,” I whisper. I don’t know if I’m ready to face her. I don’t know if I ever will be. But I’m no longer that little girl. Nobody ever fought for her, but maybe it’s time she needs to step up and fight for herself. “Vote to abstain, Lucere, and let me handle her.” I force a smile. “If she challenges me, I have the right to set the time and date. And she knows it.”
Lucere breathes out slowly. “I’m glad I’m not standing in your shoes right now.”
* * *
“What were you thinking?”Thiago growls, the second Lucere is out of sight. “Abstain?Abstain?”
“Be empathetic, you said.” I growl the words. “You’re right. We need her as an ally. In thewar. And you’re pushing her too hard. She won’t vote against Mother. Not with Imerys in Mother’s hands. This gives us an option.”
He scrubs a hand over his mouth, and then visibly calms down. “Sorry. I’m on edge. I don’t want to see you hurt.”
All that violence, tightly coiled within him…. I could ask him to deal with this for me. I could hide myself behind him, use him as my shield, as my savior, as my protector. It’s what I dreamed of as a little girl, and perhaps, when he first stole a kiss from me, the idea that he could rescue me from my mother was part of the attraction.
But I’m not a little girl anymore.
I don’t need to be rescued.
I need to fight.
I need to stare that bitch in the face and let her know that despite all her abuse, she can’t hurt me anymore.
“I was thinking that it’s always been circling toward this.” Ever since I discovered the truth—that Mother once heard a prophecy predicting her daughter would overthrow her. “You could kill her for me. I know you could kill her for me.” And in so doing, set the entire Alliance against us. I lift my gaze to his. “But I have to do it, Thiago. I have to face her. Myself. Or I’ll never truly set myself free of the shackles she bound me with.”
I can see the moment he understands.
“Vi.” His hands capture my forearms, his eyes deadly serious. “Vi, are you sure you’re ready for this? You have the strength, you have the power, but do you have the belief? I’ve never doubted you can do it. I’ve never doubtedyou. But if your Mother demands a duel, then you will have to kill her.”
And I’ve never owned that instinct.
