Page 123 of Curse of Darkness
Finn’s eyes narrow as if he’s not sure if we’re discussing the same subject.
I take pity on him. “Since we’re discussing bottled up truths, maybe you should reveal your own.”
Finn swings the sword low, testing its balance. “Don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“How about this then? You and Eris duel in the yard, but you never beat her. And I don’t think it’s got shit all to do with leashing your violence. If you beat her, then you might have to face the uncomfortable situation that you—among all males—might be able to force her to submit in a duel. And she has made certain terms to such a thing ever happening.”
“It’s a stupid fucking challenge she made years ago,” he snarls.
“She swore thrice, upon Maia’s name,” I point out. “It’s not a stupid challenge, Finn. It’s a promise. If Eris finds herself disarmed, then she is honor-bound to submit to marriage to the male who disarmed her.”
“You’ve beaten her.”
“I’m married.” I snort. “Don’t change the subject.”
“Baylor has beaten her once or twice.”
“Baylor’s not fae. She specifically stated ‘fae male.’”
“Maybe I’m not fae either.”
I arch a brow. “The Sylvaren were fae. I don’t think that argument stands.”
“What makes you think I want such a thing?”
“The look on your face every time she walks into a room.”
Finn looks away, the muscle ticking in his jaw. “I’m just her friend, Thi. I’m the charming wastrel of the court, the rogue who likes to go his own way…. That’s the category she’s relegated me to. And she’s never given me a single hint I can convince her otherwise.”
“Because you’re doing such a wonderful job of convincing her there might be a chance if she did feel that way.”
“She doesn’t.”
“You don’t know that.”
His teeth grind together as he squeezes out the words, “Ido.”
“You don’t—”
“For fuck’s sake,” he snaps. “I do. I was drunk once. I made my intentions clear. She didn’t just politely rescind the offer, she set those intentions on fire. And then stomped on the ashes. She was furious. Since then… we’ve danced around each other. We’ll probably keep dancing for the next five centuries. Now, are we done with this discussion?”
I stare at him. “Nearly done.”
“What more could you have to say?”
I dust off my hands slowly, thinking my way through my words. Eris was barely an adult when she was hauled before the alliance in chains. I’ll never forget the look in her eyes—like all the hope in the world had bled out of her heart, until I offered her a chance to survive.
Over the centuries, she’s flourished, but I still see that expression on her face sometimes. As if she knows time is her enemy. One day she’ll explode. One day she’ll lose the battle she faces every morning when she wakes.
She’s made a family for herself here, but she still doesn’t dare let down her walls.
“Out of all of you, I understand Eris the most. The monster inside her…. It’s her burden to bear. She’s spent her entire life knowing she will never find a man who can love her—or accept the monster inside her—and she thinks that eventually it will overwhelm her. She’s rejected every single notion she ever had about love, about marriage, about children. It’s not a lifestyle she yearns for, because she doesn’tdaredream about it. She doesn’t believe it can ever happen for her.
“I’ve known that feeling. And if I hadn’t been granted Maia’s vision of Vi, I don’t think I’d have ever believedIwould ever find someone to love.
“And then hereyouare, pushing your way into Eris’s life. It’s safer if she relegates you to being merely a handsome rogue who’s slept with every fae woman in Ceres. But Vi told me what happened when she bonded you. You died, Finn. You died in Eris’s arms, and Vi said she’s never heard so much anguish in her friend’s voice.”
Finn rakes his hands through his hair, cupping his palms behind his head. “You’re such a bastard.”
