Page 78 of Heart of Iron
The excitement of the pistol had long since worn off with his nearness.It only served to remind her of last night, and the mistake, as he called it.Her body was flushed with heat and her head had begun to pound.“I think I’m coming down with a chill.And you still haven’t explained why you told Honoria about my letter.Don’t think I’ve forgotten about that.”
Will’s gaze shuttered.“I’ve no head for codes meself.”
“So you involved my sister?”she demanded.“My insatiably curious sister who can’t help sticking her nose into other people’s business?”
“I didn’t have a choice.”A hint of anger flared in his eyes.“If you’d told me what you were involved in from the beginnin’, I wouldn’t have had to resort to drastic measures.”
“So this is my fault?”
A strangled sound came from his throat.“I ain’t sayin’ it’s your fault.I just wish you’d told me.Damn it, Lena.I’m tryin’ to help you.Do you know what it were like, seein’ that message and knowin’ you’d got yourself in trouble?That you wouldn’t tell me how to deal with it?How to help you?”
“I never asked for your help.I can handle this.”Somehow.She crossed her arms over her chest, not quite able to meet his eyes.She’d told him what she could.
“I don’t care if you want my bloody help or not, you’re gettin’ it.”He clutched her by the arms, grimly determined.“No matter where you go, I’ll be watchin’.I ain’t lettin’ no one near you.Not Colchester.Not the humanists.Not the Nighthawks.”
“Then why are you so determined to teach me how to use a pistol?”
His eyes flickered to the amber-bronze of the wolf and back.“The only reason I won’t be there is if I’m dead,” he said quietly.“You’re the last line of defense.I ain’t goin’ to leave you without a weapon or the means to use it.”
The words were chilling.“No.”The thought of him lying at her feet, the warmth drained from his body, was almost enough to undo her.This was exactly what she hadn’t wanted.The reason she’d tried to keep him from discovering her secrets.She gripped his shirtsleeves in distress.Damn her resolve to keep a distant attitude today.This was his death he was speaking about.“I wish I’d never told you.”
She should have kept lying to him, kept him in the dark.But she’d been vulnerable last night, made so by revealing the secrets of Colchester’s attack.The feel of his arms around her had undone her.She’d never been able to share the attack with anyone, or grieve for the hurt it had caused.She’d locked it up deep inside and pretended nothing was amiss.
“Too late now.”
Too late… Perhaps.Lena shook her head.She had to find some way to contain this disaster.“If you’re going to involve yourself—”
His eyes gleamed.“There ain’t no ‘if’ about it.”
“If,” she repeated, “I let you involve yourself…then you will do so at my command.I mean it, Will.We work together—under my direction—or I’ll cut all ties and stop this lunacy in its tracks.That means you don’t breathe a word of this to Honoria or Blade.I don’t want anyone else involved.It’s bad enough that you are.I don’t want anyone’s blood on my hands.”
He scrubbed at the roughened stubble on his chin.No matter how often he shaved, he always seemed to have the shadow of growth along his jaw.“What do you mean by workin’ under your direction?”
Lena let out a ragged breath.She hadn’t been certain he’d agree.“I make the decisions.You don’t go off on your own”—a sure way to get himself killed—“unless I say so.I need to work out what the humanists intend.I didn’t fully understand the consequences of what I chose to do.Damn it, Will, I was so angry.I didn’t ask enough questions.I don’t think I wanted to know.And now I’m involved and I don’t know exactly what I’m involved in.”She took a deep breath.“I need to work that out before I do anything else.I know what they stand for—the abolition of the blood taxes, equal rights for man, and a voice to vote with.I just don’t know how they intend to go about that anymore.”
A swift arch of his eyebrows.“Settin’ fire to the drainin’ factories ain’t goin’ to achieve that.”
Nor would destroying this treaty.“Yes, well, Mr.Mandeville seemed certain it was some sort of guerrilla group within the whole.”A slight pause.Just who had threatened her?The legitimate humanists or one of the rebellious ones?“Do you agree to my terms?”
“Aye.I’ll do your biddin’,” he finally said.“On one condition.”
“What type of condition?”
“I’ll give you control of this.But if the situation turns nasty or looks dangerous, then you’ll shut your pretty little mouth and listen to me.”Lena opened her mouth to protest, but he pressed his forefinger against her lips, halting the stream of words.“No,” he said firmly.“It ain’t up for negotiation.Any sign of danger and I’m in charge, you understand?”
Her breath parted around his finger.Will’s gaze dropped as though he felt it in other places and suddenly she did too.The heat of it made her squirm, her insides tying themselves into knots.The thought of tying herself to him, letting him dog her footsteps, was suddenly an unbearable agony.
And a necessary one.
Taking a step back, Lena put herself beyond reach of his hands—those treacherous, tempting hands—and smoothed her skirts.The simple action washed the emotion from her thoughts, and most likely her face.She had no choice in this matter.If she didn’t agree he would only find another way to hobble her.At least this way she would be in control.Most of the time.“You’re as stubborn as a bull,” she muttered.“Fine.I agree.”
“If you break your word you’ll regret it,” he said softly.
Mutiny flared.“I already do.”
***
Three exhausting hours later Will handed her up into the steam carriage she’d arrived in.Lena settled against the plush velvet seats, barely noticing the steady jostle of the engine.
