Page 5 of Yours Always
Victoria leaned forward slightly. “We have been fortunate, after what happened with Mary. If people had suspected...” Her voice faltered. Sarah flinched at her sister’s name. Mary’s absence had become a shadow stretched across their family,long, cold, and full of silent shame. “...it could have been devastating,” Victoria concluded.
“Mother,” Benjamin said quietly, stepping forward. “Sarah is not Mary.” Victoria’s lips thinned. “I pray that’s true. But appearances matter, Benjamin. Reputation matters.” She turned back to Sarah. “Your sister trusted the wrong man. She was foolish. She believed herself in love with someone beneath her station, who sought only to use her. Look what it cost us. What it cost her.”
Sarah swallowed hard, the old ache in her chest resurfacing. They hadn’t heard from Mary in three years. Not a letter. Not a whisper. Only the aching memory of her laughter, her brightness, and the way she had vanished into the night leaving behind a family who was trying desperately to pretend the wound wasn’t fatal.
“I am not Mary,” Sarah echoed her brother’s words, her voice steadier than she felt. Victoria softened slightly. “No, you are not. Which is why we must act now, while your name remains untarnished.” Benjamin ran a hand through his hair in frustration. “You speak as if marrying is the only thing that gives her worth.”
Victoria’s gaze sharpened. “It is not her worth I question. It is her security, and her future.” The room felt too small and the air too thin. Sarah longed to run outside and ride Stella to the farthest field and let the wind strip the weight of her mother’s expectations from her shoulders. But she didn’t move.
“Your father agrees,” Victoria added, the final hammer falling with practiced precision. “You will be presented this Season, Sarah. You will make the acquaintance of suitable gentlemen. You will do your duty, for yourself, and for this family.” Benjamin opened his mouth to argue again, but Sarah reached out and touched his hand lightly, stopping him.
Everyone knew that when Robert agreed, it usually meant he’d decided the argument wasn’t worth having. Victoria didn’t need force, she had endurance. Sooner or later, she always outlasted you.
Sarah had known, deep down, that this day was coming, but grief still caught her off guard, sharp and stinging, like stepping barefoot onto glass. “I understand,” she said quietly. Victoria offered a small, approving smile as she stood and smoothed the front of her gown. “Good. Maria will begin preparing your wardrobe immediately. We must ensure you make an excellent impression.”
As their mother swept from the room, Benjamin collapsed into the chair beside her with a groan. “Forgive me, Lizzy,” he muttered, raking a hand through his hair. “I tried.” Sarah leaned her head against his shoulder, allowing herself one small comfort. “I know,” she whispered.
They sat in silence for a long time, the past and the future pressing in around them. Neither spoke of Mary again. Neither spoke of the life Sarah would now be expected to lead, or the one she would be expected to leave behind.
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The late afternoon sun bathed the gardens of the Rockwell’s neighboring estate in a soft, golden haze, painting the hedgerows and stone paths with light. Sarah wandered slowly toward the rose arbor, her slippers whispering against the gravel. Grace was already there, seated on the low stone bench, a book forgotten in her lap. She looked up at the sound of Sarah’s steps, her smile bright, but it dimmed quickly when she saw her friend’s face. “What is it, Lizzy?” Grace asked, concern knitting her brow. “You look as though the sky itself has fallen.”
Sarah let out a thin breath and sank beside her, smoothing her skirts with nervous hands. “They have decided,”she said at last, her voice low. “I am to be presented this season.” Grace folded her hands in her lap, careful to keep her expression steady. “It was only a matter of time,” she said gently.
Sarah stared out across the garden, watching the breeze stir the blooming roses. “They say if I wait much longer, people will whisper and I will be thought of as ‘difficult.’” Grace tilted her head. “Are you worried what they’ll say?” Sarah’s lips tightened. “I’m worried about everything.” She hesitated. “Mother made it clear that we can’t afford another scandal.” Grace’s breath caught, but she said nothing. Mary’s shadow lingered over them both.
"I know they covered it well,” Sarah continued quietly. “They made excuses for why she left, but everyone has always suspected that there was more to the story.” She wrapped her arms around herself, bracing against a chill only she could feel. “Sometimes I wonder if they think I will fail them too.” she whispered. Grace reached out, threading her fingers through Sarah’s where they rested in her lap. “You have not failed anyone,” she said simply.
Sarah managed a weak smile, but it didn’t reach her heart. “You don’t understand, Grace,” she said, gripping her hand tightly. “She wants me to choose someone secure, proper, and wealthy enough to protect the Weston name. Love isn’t even part of the conversation. It’s about position and alliances. It’s about ensuring we stay exactly where we are, or climb higher.”
Grace studied her, choosing her words with care. “You don’t have to make any decisions you aren’t ready to make.” Sarah gave a hollow laugh. “Readiness is irrelevant. The Season is just weeks away. There will be balls, dinners, garden parties, and a parade of young men with their ambitious mothers. And I am expected to smile and charm and pretend it all makes me deliriously happy.”
Grace didn’t press. She simply reached over and tucked a loose strand of hair behind Sarah’s ear. It was a small gesture, but full of the quiet tenderness of a life long friendship. “You’ve always been stronger than you think,” she said. “And smarter. You won’t be swept away by promises that mean nothing.”
Sarah bit her lip, unconvinced. “I just don’t know what I want anymore.” Grace smiled softly, but a glimmer of sadness reflected in her eyes. “Sometimes we don’t know until our hearts tell us. And when that happens...” She squeezed Sarah’s hand again. “You will know.”
Sarah let her head fall onto Grace’s shoulder, the two of them wrapped in silence surrounded by the scent of roses and the murmur of the wind, sitting with the ache of the in-between. She was no longer the girl she’d been, and not yet the woman the world expected her to be.
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The last light of day clung stubbornly to the horizon, casting long shadows across the terrace. Matthew rolled his shoulders, shifting his jacket to the crook of his arm. The evening air had cooled and was laced with the sweet scent of jasmine, but he barely noticed. He usually didn’t seek to leave Edenfield so soon after dinner, but tonight the drawing room had become a suffocating blur of conversation. Mostly Victoria Weston, strategizing Sarah’s upcoming debut like a general preparing for siege. It seemed to be the only topic she could manage these days. Matthew had smiled and nodded when expected, but the thought of Sarah trapped in that glittering, merciless world made his stomach twist.
When he spotted Benjamin and Grace outside, he didn’t hesitate to make his escape and join them into the fresh air. He pushed the door open and stepped onto the terrace. “There you two are,” he called, grinning. “I was beginning to think you hadabandoned me. I had to escape before Victoria pulled me into dress planning for Sarah’s Season.”
Benjamin chuckled and motioned him over. Grace said nothing and just gave him that soft, knowing smile that always made him feel slightly off balance. “Come, Matty, Tell us...” Benjamin said. “What pearls of wisdom do you have about the marriage mart?” Matthew leaned lazily against the stone balustrade, grateful for the darkness that hid the tension he couldn’t seem to shake. “Wisdom?” he echoed. “No wisdom here. Only dread.”
Benjamin raised a brow in mock surprise. “And here I thought you would be first in line this Season to find a pretty heiress.” Matthew gave a short laugh. “Not all of us are clever enough to find love in our own backyard.” Grace tilted her head slightly, studying him. Matthew avoided her gaze, focusing instead on the silver gleam of moonlight across the gardens.
“Do you think Sarah will find someone she fancies?” Benjamin asked lightly, though there was a glint in his eye Grace recognized too well. “Sarah deserves to be adored,” Matthew said before he could think better of it. “She deserves someone who will cherish her,” he went on, his voice low as if he were speaking only to himself. “Not just for her beauty or her fortune, but someone who sees her and knows she isn’t meant to be tamed. Not completely.”
The silence that followed was thick enough to choke on. Matthew shifted, suddenly aware of Benjamin and Grace exchanging a glance behind him. “Well,” Grace finally said, her voice carefully light, “whoever tries to wins her heart will have stiff competition from you, Mr. Fenwick.”
Matthew tried to swallow the feeling that he’d just given away more than he meant to. “Competition? Me?” He laughed awkwardly, running a hand through his hair. “I’m practicallyher brother.” Benjamin gave a quiet laugh that sounded far too pitying for Matthew’s liking. “Practically,” he murmured.
Matthew cleared his throat, desperate for a change of subject. He started rambling about the river levels and whether the tenants’ hay harvest would be early this year, but he could feel Grace’s eyes still on him, steady and searching. He usually didn’t understand the looks she gave him, but this one felt different, like she knew something he didn’t.
Matthew tried to shrug off the feelings rising in his chest. Sarah had a Season ahead of her, and a future filled with grand ballrooms and titled suitors. She would have her pick of polished gentlemen who could offer her everything she deserved. And Matthew? He would be nothing more than a fond memory of muddy boots and childhood laughter.
