Page 86 of The Wise Daughter
“You have no idea how awful.” He sighed and bent over, dropping his head into his hands. “All I can think is if I had but listened to my daughter.”
Tears finally slipped down her cheeks, leaving cold streaks as wind from the carriage’s drafts blew them dry. She wanted to be furious at her father for yet again giving in to his one great weakness, but she wasn’t. She knew deep within his actions weren’t the reason for Aaron’s dismissal.
She took a shaky breath to keep from releasing any more tears. “I used to believe I was strong and clever enough to overcome anything, but ever since Mother died, I’ve felt so lost.”
“Oh, Nora. I can tolerate the idea that I brought myself to ruin, but I cannot abide the truth that I brought my daughter to ruin as well. Chastise me all you like. Tell me I already brought you to ruin. I know I did, but I was so sure coming here would solve things.” He twisted his handkerchief and pinched his eyes shut. “I thought if I could just be rid of the place where she died, I could forget how much it hurt.”
Understanding washed over her. He hadwantedto lose all those wagers. What was the point in fighting for a home full of so much sorrow? Looking back, she saw it in his actions. He had wanted to be rid of any reminders. It was a small relief to finally understand that piece of the puzzle.
Her father opened his eyes and took her hand. “Do you know what I realized at Holmrook Castle? Even though I’ve felt just as lost, I’ve always had you. I should have realized what a blessing you were to me. I should have taken greater care of you.”
Nora squeezed his hand in return. Trying to forget had never done either of them any good. With so many mistakes in the past, remembering was the only way forward that seemed to offer any peace.
“Father, remember how she used to sing in the mornings?”
His features pinched though his eyes brightened. “How could I forget? Her voice was the first sound I heard each day. No doubt, you inherited your talent for singing from her.”
Nora smiled at the compliment. “And do you remember her rose garden? The reds and pinks, the white and yellows. The roses never did bloom as beautifully again as they did under her care.”
“True,” he agreed. “She had a special touch. The variety she grew was a testament to how much she loved color. Remember how she was always encouraging you to try new colors in your wardrobe?”
Nora sucked in a quick breath. She had forgotten. “You’re right. I wouldn’t have discovered how much I liked to wear green or peach without her encouragement.”
“I don’t think she would have wanted you to wear those greys and lavenders for so long. She would have wanted you to have those gowns.”
So that’s why her father had wanted her to have the new gowns. He wanted her to enjoy life as she once had, before the blacks and greys and lavenders of her mourning. If she ever had another chance to choose a pretty gown, she would choose something full of color, perhaps a vibrant blue.
Her father released a heavy sigh. “Your mother was such a light. Just like you, my little Nora. I’m sorry I made such of mess of our lives, but you keep shining. Your mother would have been so proud of you. She would be heartbroken to see me like this. I don’t think I’ll ever be able to forgive myself.”
“Mother wouldn’t have wanted that either.”
He pulled out a handkerchief and dabbed at his eyes. “Whatever happens after this, I will do more to help instead of hurt. No more wagers.”
The strange thing was, Nora believed him. Time was the only true test of his resolve, but for the first time, she heard a humble acknowledgment of his grief along with an understanding of what he had actually done not only to himself but to her as well.
The carriage slowed. Her father leaned forward and looked out the window.
“What’s this? Where are we? This isn’t right.”
“What’s wrong, Father?”
She leaned forward for her own look outside. The clouds had dispersed. Moonlight lit the small but elegant manor before them.
“This isn’t Raven Manor.”
“What do you mean? Of course it is.”
“It most certainly is not. I’ve only visited it a few times, but I know the difference. Make no mistake, I won’t complain if this is where the duke insists we stay. Even from a glance in the dark, I can see that thisplace is far superior to the one I’ve visited. I wonder why we’re here instead.”
Nora didn’t have an answer to this. “Do you think we ought to say something about it?”
“Oh, no. I won’t say anything that takes us to the abandoned hovel I visited earlier. We’re staying here.”
Nora didn’t like it. She had heard it from Aaron’s lips. This was Raven Manor, but if that were true, where had her father been going?
Nora and her father thanked the groomsmen who had driven them. One took Mr. Lacy’s small trunk inside while another took Locket to the stables.
“We’ve brought a few supplies, Miss Lacy, a bit of bread and cold meats, but there isn’t much else here for you or your horse. You can take her out to graze in the fields tomorrow.”
