Page 77 of The Catacomb King
“I don’t know,” I protested. “Honestly, they were mostly… pretty nice.” Elke, with armfuls of clothes, her constant gentlekindness. The chaosgötten, obeying my orders and protesting their King on my behalf. Hades, fetching me water. I tried not to remember that part, tried to remember his hand on my throat instead, but his voice sayingTrust mekept surging to the front of my mind. “The Prince killed a rabbit so I wouldn’t have to eat the underworld food.”
“Hewhat?”
“What? You asked.”
Calix frowned hard. It was clear he didn’t believe me. After all, there would be no reason, none at all, for an underworld prince to feed his captive human food. “Maybe you’ll think of more to say when you’re not so traumatized.”
I didn’t feel traumatized. Not by anything besides the sight of all the blood on the War Police’s bayonets. Chaosgötten blood.
Calix was right, though. Ishouldfeel traumatized by the kidnapping and the near-drowning. “Maybe,” I said doubtfully.
It was only when we approached the village, and my hut, that I started to feel sick to my stomach. I had been gone three days. How could I have allowed myself to stay away so long? The Gestörbunlund, which had felt so real to me as Calix and I crossed the grass and the barren landscape, was beginning to feel distant and hazy. It was as though it were a dream-world where I, asleep, had told myself that by staying away from my mother, I was saving her. But who had I thought I was kidding? How could I have lied to myself so thoroughly? How could I have ever believed that staying away from my mother was what wasgoodfor her?
But now I was back.
Calix and I stood in front of my hut’s little wooden door. The door was askew on its hinges. It had always been, because I had never found time to fix it.
I swallowed. I started for the door.
Calix caught hold of my hand.
“Wait,” he said. His voice came out too fast. “Wait, Persephone, I haven’t —”
The door opened.
Josie emerged. Her beautiful freckled face was puffy and red with tears. A gust of air from the house behind her hit my face.
The gust smelled like formaldehyde.
My stomach, which had been churning with nausea and anxiety and guilt, turned into a brick of ice.
Josie looked between me and Calix for a moment, uncomprehending. I was so frozen, I couldn’t even push past her to see what I knew I was going to see.
Then recognition dawned on Josie’s face. “P-Persephone?”
“What happened?” I heard myself say.
Josie could only huff in surprise. “You’re alive? Oh, gods,Calix.”
“Got her,” Calix said. There was no satisfaction in his voice. He only sounded tired, and worried. “Told you I would.”
“Persephone,” Josie said again. And then she fell on me, crying, clutching my arms and my filthy sweat-stiff hair. “I’m sorry,” she sobbed. “I’m sorry, I really did my best. I can’t believe you’re okay. I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. Calix, tell her I’m sorry.”
A few days ago, I would have been filled with jubilation at Josie prostrating herself before me like this. Now I couldn’t feel anything at all.
“Is she dead?” I asked. I didn’t know why I bothered to ask. Of course she was dead.
Beside me, Calix buried his face in his hands. “That was why I didn’t give her the basket,” he said, muffled. “It was already too late.”
Josie was shaking against me. Her sturdy dress was nothing compared to my violet ballgown. I would have traded the ballgown in a heartbeat if it meant I could have my mother back. “It should have been me,” Josie wailed. “They should have takenme, not you. You could have saved her if you’d been here. You always knew how to take care of her. I tried, but I wasn’t good enough. I wasn’t…”
“They were never going to take you,” I said to Josie. “They didn’t want you.” I untangled myself from her arms. She had gone limp and stunned.
“Persephone,” said Calix reproachfully.
I ignored him. I set Josie aside and entered the house.
The smell of formaldehyde punched me in the face. Outside, the world was red from the setting sun, but in here it was dark. I had never been able to afford curtains, but Josie had hung thick ones. Out of respect, and to protect the body from rotting in the sun.
