Page 126 of Web of Lies
“Kaycee,” sadness fills her tone when she breathes my name. I frown more. “Kaycee, baby, I got some of your mail today. I thought it was nothing…” That stops me in my tracks.
“What is it? Is it bad?” My throat constricts, my brain taking off in eight million different directions. All derailing into bad news.
“Baby, I hate to do this on the phone. I don’t want to upset you or hurt you or…”
“Mom, please, just tell me.” My heart pounds against my chest like a drum out of control. My mother has a flair for the dramatics, taking things out of context.
She pauses on the other end, taking deep breaths. “It’s Parkford,” she whispers.
“Oh? Did they send the welcome package? I know it was supposed to come soon. Did it have my room details and class details? Mom, that’s not—”
“They rescinded their offer, Kace,” she murmurs in a dejected tone.
There were only a few times in my life when my soul left my body, breaking my heart into a million pieces. One: when I was five, my goldfish died, and the toilet bowl funeral still sits in the back of my traumatized mind. Poor Goldy, in the prime of her life, floated to her death. Number two: the morning my father left me alone with my flu-stricken mother, only it wasn’t the flu. Imagine watching your mother heave the last of her breakfast into a bowl and pass out before your eyes. I’ll never forget her pale face, sunken in eyes, and protruding bones. That day I grew up and aged a million times over when she tried to slip away from us. I’ll never forget the bile in my throat, as my soul tried to flee when my father uttered the word, Cancer. After they had hidden it for months—months without telling their three children. Three: the icing on my heart-break cake was the day my mother sat me down with tears flowing from her eyes and told me Magnolia had taken her life.
“Honey, I need to tell you something, and it’s going to hurt,” she whispers, taking my hand in hers. I knew she wanted to pull me into her, but she didn’t.
“Magnolia had an accident last night, and… she didn’t make it, baby. Magnolia died.”
My heart hurt. My ears rang, and the walls closed in upon us. I screamed at her. I cursed at her, lashing out at everyone around me. No. No. No. It wasn’t true. Magnolia wouldn’t do that to herself. After she cuddled me in bed and tucked me in, my revenge plan came to mind. I remembered the emails she sent me, but I knew I needed to check the coroner’s report. So right before Christmas, I did just that. Looking through her photos and reports, I instantly knew something wasn’t right. And I only confirmed that suspicion when I went back a few hours later, and they changed the information. When the news of Magnolia’s death came, I shattered into nothing.
After coming to terms with her death and my solid vengeance plan, I recovered. But after this? After Parkford denied me? They wouldn’t take me back. I’d have nowhere to go. What was I supposed to do now? Where would I go?
“But-but, it’s a full ride. They can’t take that away. They-they offered that to me last summer… I-I…” Tears fall down my cheeks at the prospect of not going.
Everything I have worked for is for nothing if I can’t go to the college Magnolia and I worked to get to. Tingles rush towards the end of my nose, expanding over my reddened cheeks, spreading like a numbness, taking over every inch of my flesh.
“This is why I didn’t want to do this over the phone, my baby.” Sniffling comes from her end and then full-blown sobs. It’s like my mother feels the intensity of my despair slowly moving through my trembling limbs. “I can take the rest of the day off. I’m coming to you so I can get you for lunch and dinner, and I’ll—”
“Mom, it’s fine. I promise.” I whisper through the clogs of emotion constricting my throat. Squeezing my heart through its painful grasp.
“Baby,” she breathes, “Are you sure? I know how hard you’ve worked for this place. Your father has been on the phone with them for the last ten minutes.” I crack a smile at my savior. Not only does he swoop in here at East Point to yell at Shaw over my unfair fines, but he’s also made it his mission to run headfirst into all his children’s problems.
“Yeah, it’s fine, and thank you, Mom. I love you. I don’t understand. What happened?”
“Your father is finding out right now. They can’t take away your offer like that without a valid reason.” My head shakes back and forth. No. No normal college would do this.
The cool wood of my dresser greets my feverish forehead. I lightly tap it against the wood as the ants of my anxiety creep up my limbs. “Call me when you find out,” I rasp out, hanging up the phone before she can say anything else. But knowing her, she’ll show up here anyway with a bucket full of fried chicken demanding we watchGrey’s Anatomyon repeat, so we have something tangible to cry about.
Mom:
I won’t come, but we’ll figure this out. If they don’t take you, then they don’t deserve you. Don’t worry.
Me:
You’re the best mom in the world.
And I mean it. My parents have always been well-off, taking us on luxurious family vacations and meeting our material needs. But they never stopped at that. They’ve always met my emotional and physical needs, hugging us, ensuring we knew they loved us beyond everything. I knew my mother meant it when she said she’d figure this out for me, and I’d have faith everything would work out for now.
Everything in my room spins when I stand on shaky legs. Waves of acid splash against my stomach walls, sending my breakfast up my throat. Lost it. I lost my scholarship for no good reason. Sure, my parents have enough money to send me there, but it’s the principle of it all. I earned it with my grades and volunteer work, and with the snap of someone’s fingers—I lost it.
Running to my bathroom, I barely make it in time to spill my breakfast. Heaving and panting, I try to force my stomach to stop turning. But it doesn’t. It’s a constant river of devastation, carving its way up my throat and out into the tainted water. Tears cascade over my cheeks, falling into the toilet I’m hanging over. An acidic fire burns in my throat, contracting every muscle in my body in a stinging vice grip. The darkness inside me brews like a violent storm deep inside. Leaning against the toilet, I rake my hands through my hair. How the hell could this happen? I was in their good graces; I had tons of recommendations from old teachers and neighbors. I volunteered my time at the local animal shelter, donated my time and money. What went wrong?
Thunder booms outside the building, shaking the floor I’m sitting on. I need something. I need someone. I need……
I get up, my heart pounding against my ribs. My chest heaves when I rinse my mouth out, and then I make my way back to my research. If there’s one thing I’ve found out about my relationship with the boys is, they make me feel better. They may not have the answers for me or know what I should do. But the butterflies and sunshine they rain down on me when I see them makes it worth it. I always said I wasn’t a relationship kind of girl because I didn’t know this is how it could be.
With fresh tears still staining my cheeks, I grab my things. I can’t stay here. If I do, I’ll go insane. My mind will go through all the possibilities of why I lost my beloved scholarship when all I want to do is wrap myself in the sunshine. Rain beats against my window, a sure sign fall is descending on us, and winter is on its way. More thunder booms from all around, making the hairs on my arm stand on end. No matter how hard it’s pouring, I know he’s home. My beacon. My light in the dreary day. Chase.
