Page 31 of Four Simple Rules
Redness tints her cheeks when she sets the letter down and pulls up another one written with a teal gel pen. Hers. The one still on her desk.
“You left your window unlocked for me. Even after…” I shake my head and climb to my feet, reaching Blake, sitting with her legs crossed, surrounded by unread letters. “I wrote to you almost every day. But I didn’t know how to get them to you. You disappeared, and a hole opened here,” I murmur, tapping my chest.
“This was always your sanctuary. I could never take that away from you. But I couldn’t live by your rules anymore, Jesse. They were…”
“The stupidest thing I ever did?” I raise a brow when she nods in agreement. “If I could go back and change things, I would. I never would have set those ridiculous rules. I was insecure, Tulip. An idiotic teenager, more focused on proving myself to people who didn’t matter. I thought—and this is stupid—that I wouldn’t make it on the baseball field if I didn't have them as friends. It was dumb. I should have proved myself to you. You were the only person who mattered, and I treated you like you didn’t.”
“It hurt so bad,” she rasps, wiping under her eyes. “Having the only person who saw me tell me I was invisible in public really freaking hurt my feelings.”
“You should have slapped me,” I say, sitting across from her and the pile of notes she’s working through. “I never meant to make you feel invisible, Tulip. Especially after your dad basically shut down. Everything I did back then was selfish. My so-called friends were cruel, and yeah, I wanted to keep you away from them. But I should have walked away from them and been by your side. Then your friend Olivia would have stayed. You would have stayed. And we could have graduated together. We could have gone to college…”
“We could have,” she whispers, shaking her head.
“I’m sorry, Blake. Truly, from the bottom of my heart, I’m sorry. I know talk is cheap, but I’d like to start over.” I eye her with hope as my words tumble around in her brain. Finally, she peers at me from beneath her sooty lashes and nods.
“To starting over,” she murmurs, reaching her hand out toward me.
“To starting over,” I whisper with a break in my voice, catching on the emotions bursting up my throat. “Hi, my name is Jesse Rutherford.” I clasp her fingers in mine, shaking our hands up and down. “It’s nice to start over with you.”
A small smile pulls at her lips. “I’m Blake Reynolds. It’s nice to start over with you, too.”
Fresh air fills my lungs when our hands fall into our laps, and a soft silence encases the room. Somehow, the air feels lighter. Tension no longer lingers between us, and I can breathe for the first time in ten years.
“I have rules, though,” Blake says, fidgeting with the papers in front of her. “Four simple rules.”
My heart stops. “Rules?”
“Yeah. You broke me once, Jesse. I can’t fall into that trap again. It hurt too much. I need to protect myself from the pain.”
I blow out a slow breath. My rules hurt her. My need to put distance between her and me in public obliterated something inside her. Rightly, so, I never want to make her feel like she’s nothing again. I broke her trust once and that’s not something I’m willing to do. Ever again.
“Lay them on me, Tulip. I deserve that.”
“One, we’re taking this super slow…” Her gaze examines my face, and I nod, agreeing with her term.
“I can do super slow. We’re getting to know each other again as friends.”
Can I respect her wishes and take this slowly? Yes, absolutely. Even when every fiber of my being wants to scoop her into my arms, throw her on the bed, and redo what we did ten years ago. Only this time better. Blake’s the only girl who has ever had this effect on me. And she still does. Even if I don’t really know her anymore, at her core, she’s still the same goofy girl that I love. But I’ll follow every rule she has set in place. I’ll respect her decisions and gain her trust back, because we’re starting over, and I’ll never fuck that up again. Ever. Blake deserves the world and I want to prove to her that I can do it.
“Two, no lies,” she whispers, licking her lips.
“Nothing but truths. I can handle that.” She’ll see nothing but the real me from here on out.
“Three, we’re just friends.” I blink several times when she watches me intently.
“Just friends, of course.” That’s where we’ll start, anyway. I have all summer to follow her back to where she lives and spend time with her, buttering her up until we’re together.
“Four.” She heaves a shuddering breath, staring at the floor. “I can’t be invisible to you. Not in public. Not in private. If you make me feel like you did before, your chances are done.”
“You couldn’t be invisible to me if you tried. Not now.” Not ever, really.
When she didn’t think I was looking, I was. I made sure none of the nasty shit happened to her. No matter what Posey and her shitty girlfriends had planned, Blake was untouchable.
“Okay, then. That’s all I have. I’m only here for a short time, Jesse. So, make it count,” she says confidently, continuing to fold each piece of paper with care.
“I will, I promise.” And I do. I’ve waited for this moment for ten years. I won’t let it go to waste. Not today. “How about we start right now? Want to grab breakfast?”
She tilts her head, watching my pleading eyes.
