Page 46 of Four Simple Rules
Fuck.
“What?”
I swear all my blood rushes to my ears, pounding wildly. It almost muffles out Nikki, my supervisor’s voice, from over the phone.
This can’t be real. This can’t! My dream is being crushed in the palm of my university’s hand.
I have no say.
A helpless feeling encases my entire body. My skin feels too tight. Oxygen refuses to refresh my lungs.
“I’m so sorry, Blake. I tried so damn hard to fight for your job. But they said the funding wasn’t there anymore. That our department was going to be cut down immediately. It was everyone, Blake. Everyone, but me.” Her anger zaps through the phone with every breathless word she says. “Since they didn’t listen to reason, I made a few recommendations.”
“Recommendations?” I ask, pacing in front of the special tree Jesse and I have carved as our own.
After kissing Jesse’s cheek this morning, I slipped out of bed for a run—something I’ve been doing for years for my health. Not only does it keep me in shape, but it helps my frantic mind settle down. Sometimes. Jesse’s words rang in my mind repeatedly, chasing me and pushing me forward toward the one spot I knew I could find solace.
“Rule number four. If you wake up in the morning and don’t like what we did, there are no hard feelings. I know I fucked up ten years ago when I was a stupid kid. I took advantage of our friendship. And this…”
He fucked up. Majorly. But last night was beyond magical. The way I felt when Jesse slid between my legs and watched me come apart over and over had me begging for more. Even now. I’m aching in all the right places from his punishing pace. But I want more of him. All of him. Every inch. I’m hopelessly addicted to everything he has to offer.
I thought I knew what love was with Jared. We went on dates, hung out with friends, and enjoyed each other’s company. When I wasn’t at work, that is. My life revolved around my research, but I always had time for him. I thought that’s what a relationship was like. But this? With Jesse? This is beyond my wildest dreams. He’s taking me higher and higher, and I never want to come down.
My mind raced this morning with wild thoughts about long-distance relationships and how this could work. Well, until now…
“Yeah. The University of Port Moral in Boston has an opening in their department…”
“Boston?” I repeat, stopping my pacing and slumping against the tree.
“Yeah. I know it’s across the States, but they’re probably better than us. Better benefits and wages. You’ll travel more with the research team.”
Travel. Across the states? Am I ready for a commitment like that? Am I prepared for a commitment with Jesse, even? He seems so committed to me, sticking to me like glue.
Fudge.
“I’ll think about it…”
“What’s there to think about, girl? You’ve said it yourself. Your family life is complicated. Jared’s an asshole. Unless there’s something I don’t know,” she coos the last part, and I can almost imagine the grin on her face.
“No, I’ll think about it. For real.” My stomach lurches with uneasiness.
“Expect a call, Blake. Everyone wants the genius Blake Reynolds on their team, believe me.”
With that, we hang up. Leaving me in the noiseless forest, leaning against my tree. Tears pour down my cheeks, mourning the loss of something great. I give myself one solid minute to collect my emotions.
I lost my dream job. They dropped me like I meant nothing to them, like I hadn’t poured years of myself into their plants, facility, and research. I gave them my best years, and with the snap of their fingers, I’m nothing to them.
I suck in a breath, wiping away the remnants of the sadness on my cheeks. I raise my chin, staring at the rays of morning sunshine beaming through the trees and soothing my rampant mind, filled with dismal thoughts of sadness.
This is a new day. New opportunities await me.
At least, that’s what my brother whispered to me when the sun rose and tears wet my lashes at his bedside. It was supposed to be me and him against the world. Now, it’s just me.
I lick my lips and duck into the tree, running my fingers over the names carved deep into the wood.
“Miss you, Gav. Every day. For eternity.” Leaning in, I kiss his name softly, remembering the short thirteen years we spent together.
I can almost hear his little voice now, telling me to embrace my fate. The future may be uncertain, but something amazing is on the horizon.
