Page 127 of The Deceptions
But murder is frowned upon. Especially at parties. Or in public. Fuck. When is murder acceptable?
I eye the snake in the grass with physical indifference. We're obligated to be friendly and cordial to her. Actually, I don't know whywehave to be. She's Hux's problem. He's the one who was strong-armed into this deal with her and her father. Thanks, Franco. Ya, asshole. You fucked all three of us. Took away our lives. Again and again.
But I digress.
If I go down that rabbit hole, I'll never emerge. So, I bury all my hatred, rage, and whatever else is testing inside me and throw it into the deepest crevice of my mind.
Is it healthy to avoid my problems and feelings? Absolutely not. Do I do it anyway to stay sane? You betcha.
Besides, I take care of those pesky feelings plotting against me daily with my Livy. She may be unable to talk back and offer me advice, but she listens well. And being so close to her, even though she's so far away, settles my aching bones and mind.
If only she were here with me now. In the flesh to soothe my brows and tell me she loves the rock I found her. Or that my kiss took away all her worries. My chest aches. I miss Livy with all my fucking heart. She was my girl. Our girl. The day I had to put her in the ground without tears was the worst day of my life.
And it was all Franco's fault. I'm fucking sure of it.
Just an accidental house fire? Yeah, fucking right. House fire my ass. If the guys and I hadn’t been on a damn run that day, working our asses off for Franco, we’d have marched through those flames, laid down in the fire, and sacrificed ourselves with her.
A life without Olivia Viotto isn’t a life worth living. I’m barely hanging on to the shreds of sanity I have left. One more minor inconvenience, I’ll be a goner for sure.
I quickly peek over my shoulder, zoning in on Livy's grave. The chips in the stone are the first thing I see whenever I look at her now. Rage boils again at the thought of someone messingwith her gravestone. Fuckers. JJ better find them quickly and tell me who they are so I can beat their asses and commit that murder I shouldn't, deep in our basement with sharpened knives and lots of blood. Whoever hurts my Livy, even when she's in an eternal slumber, has to come through me first.
I reluctantly take my eyes off the only girl who will ever be allowed to consume me again and glare at Amanda. Or Mandy. Or whatever she wants us to call her. It's whatever. She's still the same basic mean girl from high school. Only now she has bigger tits and a bigger entitlement to our time.
I lie awake some nights, trying to figure out how this all happened. Franco. He did this to torture us for eternity instead of giving us the good life. It'll be a cold day in Hell when Huxley is forced to meet her at the altar. If I can switch her out for someone more bearable, I would.
Amanda saunters up to me with the same grin she wore in high school when she was trying to seduce us to the dark side. That's ano fucking thank youfrom me.
"Mandy." My voice comes out monotone when she runs her fingers over my chest, and I step back out of reach.
Ugh. My skin crawls whenever she tries to entice me into a three-way with her and Hux. I don't mind that guy's dick. I've seen it plenty of times in the past. But her? No, thanks. She can keep her repulsiveness away from me and mine. Besides, her and Hux don't even do the nasty. Never have. He's forcing her to wait until their wedding night. AKA, he's biding his time so JJ can figure out a way out of the contract. Also, so he doesn’t have to fucking touch her. Maybe that’s why she’s throwing herself at us and trying to get knocked up so we can never leave her.
Jokes on her, though. We wouldn’t touch her with a million-foot pole.
"What are you boys up to tonight? Hux says you're too busy," she says with a fake pout and baby voice.
Yuck. I think my ears are bleeding from the sound of her.
"We are. Now, leave," JJ grumbles, waving his hand so she'll saunter on by and find another victim to sink her teeth into. She already got exactly what she was gunning for all those years ago. Huxley. And the power of marrying the gang leader's son brings her.
Her future with Hux is as bright as the daisies Livy loved to pick. Fuck. Now, I've made myself sad all over again. Focus, Mack.
I shake my head. Maybe I need to lay off the drinks and focus on the present. On second thought... Nah, that's too serious for me. I'd rather drink myself into oblivion and go on a run for Franco with a hangover from Hell tomorrow than listen to her incessant blabbering and pouting. Seriously, where are the cotton balls when you need to shove them in your bleeding ears?
"You don't look very busy," she pouts again, puffing out her bottom lip and drooping her eyes.
Reminder—murder at a party is hella frowned upon. Franco would gladly get me out of jail. No, wait. He might let me rot if I take her out. She's way too important to the future of his empire and alliance.
I take a step back and finish off my beer. If I don't, I might wrap my hands around her throat and laugh as she expires. Shit. See? Too damn dark again. I need my therapy session with Livy. I didn't have time today. Fucking Water Polo practice. Visiting her is becoming a later and later kind of thing lately. It happens when the sun goes down and the moon is high in the sky. There's usually no one around—just how I like it—but about a week ago, someone else was here, but I didn't get a good look at them.
I probably should have, though. They're probably the ones responsible for the damage to her grave. If I had confronted them like I thought about, that wouldn't have happened. Fuck. JJ needs to invent a time machine so I can go back in time to thatnight and ream their asses for being too close to Livy’s grave. But alas, I can’t do that shit, and JJ isn’t that smart. Besides, if we had a time machine, I’d go back to the night that everything fell apart.
"We were just leaving," I say, nudging JJ over and forcing him to walk away from her. "Fuckkkk," I draw out softly once we're away from her.
"You can say that again," JJ mutters irritably, peeking over his shoulder. "You're lucky she just got distracted." He rolls his dark eyes toward the stars in the sky.
"I could kill her," I proudly boast, puffing out my chest.
"You and your threats of murder," JJ quips, shaking his head as we move ourselves to an isolated corner of the cemetery and far the fuck away from Mandy. “Come on, Boy,” JJ says, softly gesturing to Waffles as he approaches us and follows.
