Page 113 of Can't Get Over You
“I mean, it’s like Cody, right? How can he make sense of all these changes if no one talks to him? It just lives like a fear inside him.”
He held her gaze for a moment, and she could tell he was letting it sink in. “The only vivid memory I have is my dad waking me up in the middle of the night, shaking my shoulder, and whispering to go get Decker. I couldn’t tell you what my dad looked like twenty-two years ago or what color my blanket was, but I do remember the urgency.”
“You understood the assignment.”
“Yeah, exactly.” He rewarded her with a smile that said he liked how well she understood him.
“Do you remember getting Decker?”
He shrugged. “Mostly, the fear in his eyes. That’s what made me go back in and grab his whale.” He tapped the tattoo. “It was his favorite stuffed animal. I have a few flashes of being in a car at night, my dad driving, but nothing else until we walked into the club. And that’s about it.”
“Did your dad tell you why you had to leave so suddenly?”
“The only thing I know is that he was getting his MBA, and he relied on my mom and student loans to handle bills and kids. So when she died, he had no childcare, no income, and four kids.”
“That’s awful.”
“Yeah. He said if the club president hadn’t taken us in—given him food, clothing, beds…childcare—he didn’t know what he’d do. He had a newborn.”
“I can’t even imagine. You know, sometimes I think you’re stuck on the idea of birth order. That you’re supposed to be the responsible one, but given what happened, it just doesn’t apply here. No one experienced the trauma the way you did. Certainly not Boone, who doesn’t remember a thing. I’ll bet if you talk to your dad, you’ll get a whole other perspective on what happened. It might help the way you see things.” She laughed. “Which is great advice from someone who’s all talk and no action.”
He hooked his hands under her knees and pulled her closer. “You’ve never talked to your parents?”
She had to put her hands on his shoulders to steady herself. “Nope. I can’t think of anything worse than them showing up to something because I guilted them into it. It sucks, but I just don’t rank on their list of priorities.”
“But if you never talk to them, you’ll never know what they’re thinking.”
“Maybe. But nothing can change the fact that I was an accident.”
“What do you mean, an accident?” He sat straighter, sloshing water out of the tub. “They told you that? That’s bullshit.”
She appreciated his outrage but squeezed his hand to calm him down. “My parents met the summer before college when they were working as ski lift operators. They hooked up a few times, and when my mom got pregnant, they made the decision to have me. They gave up college and tried to raise me together, but it didn’t work. They’re just too different. My dad’s the life of the party, and my mom—well, you know what? I don’t know who she’d be without the resentment and bitterness about the way her life turned out. Bottom line, I stole their futures. And they never recovered.” She held up a hand. “I don’t mean it like it sounds. They do love me?—”
He put a finger over her lips.
She smiled. “I’m doing it again.”
He nodded. “You don’t have to justify or sugarcoat it. You can tell me exactly how it makes you feel.”
“Well, here’s the thing. It took me a long time to figure out I’m not the reason their lives didn’t work out the way they wanted.” She pushed the damp hair off her shoulders. “They could’ve gone back to school. If they couldn’t afford a university, they could’ve started at a community college. They could’ve taken turns. My mom could’ve supported them while my dad got his degree, and then he could’ve returned the favor. All I know is I’m not the reason they both work at Wild Wolff Village, and I’m not the reason neither of them married again. It’s just not my fault their lives suck. I might’ve been an accident, but there were a million different paths they could’ve taken.”
“Bullshit. You’re no accident.” He rolled on top of her, knocking her back. Waves of water crashed to the floor. “You’re a gift.” He crushed her to his chest. “You’remygift.” Grippingher ass, he lifted them out of the tub. “Because I get to kiss you.” He pressed his mouth over hers, softly, sweetly. “Here.” He left a trail of kisses along the column of her neck.
He carried her to the bed, both of them dripping wet, and tossed her onto the mattress. His body covered hers. “Here.” He covered her breast with his mouth, his tongue swirling over the beaded tip. “And here.”
Her back arched, and she let out a shaky, “Oh.”
He kissed a path down her stomach, leaving a flurry of goose bumps in his wake.
She couldn’t believe this was happening. That this incredible man saw her, wanted her…took care of her.
What she felt was so big. It was need. It was hunger. It was…
Love.
Pure and simple.
Something she’d never truly felt before, and something she could never live without now that she had it.
