Page 126 of Can't Get Over You
He loved Finlay O’Neill, and he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her.
If he could, he’d propose right then. But she wouldn’t like that. She’d want something private and meaningful. Just between the two of them.
Also, he should probably wait till the dust was fully settled after her wedding.
Soon, though.
His dad glanced over, saw him watching, and came over to Jude. “She’s the one.”
“She is. Always has been.” Jude grinned. “I’ve wanted her since I was a kid.”
“Took you long enough.”
“Yeah, well. I wasn’t ready for her back then.”
“But you are now?” There was something watchful in his dad’s eyes, something probing in his tone.
Sure, he got it. His dad was worried he’d mess up. Because the only version of Jude he’d known was the fuck-up. “I am.” It was time to talk to him. “Dad, I’m not that same kid. I don’t get into trouble anymore.”
“I know.” But he sounded wary.
“I’m sorry for how hard I made things for you. I don’t know why I was such a piece of shit.”
Even though his dad lowered his chin, Jude couldn’t miss the color rushing into his cheeks. He tugged at his scruff.
Jude rarely saw his dad upset, so he didn’t know what to do. He panned the room. Cody worked intently, taking Boone’s guidance. Fee gestured with her hands while Wyatt listened toher story. The fire popped and crackled, and Christmas carols played softly in the background.
But not a single thought came to mind that would convince his dad to believe him. “If I can adopt Cody, I’ll raise him here. You’ll see I’ve changed.” There was no other way to prove himself.
His dad’s head jerked up. “You didn’t fuck up. I did.”
Oh.That was not what he expected to hear.
“Not a day goes by that I don’t wish I’d done things differently with you,” his dad said.
“After your mom passed, I panicked. I had a newborn, three toddlers, and no income. Nothing but student loans.” He looked gutted. “I was not a good father.”
A fierceness took hold. “I don’t know what you’re talking about. You were great. You put up with all my shit. So many times, I thought you’d kick me out, but you were patient and worked hard to get me on the right path. I don’t know why I couldn’t find it. I don’t know why I had to fuck up all the time.”
“What were you supposed to do? Sit at the table and learn the multiplication tables in a bike club?” his dad snapped. “You were unsupervised and unprotected.”
“I had Ava.”
“When we got there, Ava was getting her master’s degree. She’d help out when she could, but she had classes and student teaching gigs. After she graduated, she got a job. You and the boys were alone a lot more than you remember. You needed a father. You needed guidance, and I wasn’t there.”
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. You had to make a living. And the moment you got stable, you moved us out.”
“That’s right, but you were twelve when we left. Too young to understand that. All you knew was that you went from having a mom and dad to having to fend for yourself. And thank fuck you’re such a good person because you protected your brothers.You did what I should’ve done. So if you want to know why they didn’t get into trouble like you did, it was because of you. You watched out for them. You were a confused, scared kid, so yeah, you ran wild. But even when you did that, you were always a good man at heart. And I’m damn proud of you.” His dad hauled him up against his chest and hugged him. It was the first time they’d shown each other affection in years, and he hadn’t known how much he’d needed his dad’s love until he finally allowed himself to feel it.
Jude squeezed him hard, digging his face into the crook of his neck.
His dad pulled him back. “Makes me real happy to see you with Finlay and Cody. The whole time you’ve been away, I’ve blamed myself.”
“What? No. It wasn’t your fault. It was because of the mess I made of my reputation here.”
“You were a mama’s boy.” His dad’s soft grin was reminiscent. “And that comfort got taken from you. But maybe now, you’ve got it back.” His gaze slid to Finlay. “Did you open your gift from me?”
Jude had forgotten about that. It was a plain white envelope shoved into his stocking. He pulled it out of his back pocket, wrinkled and bent. “This?”
