Page 59 of Sinners Atone
When I switch it off, set it back down on the workbench, and readjust my earbud, she’s still fucking going.
“…hadn’t had my roots done in months. Not to mention, the police dragged my ass out of bed in the middle of the night, which is why my eyes are hanging out of my head. And what’sup with that lighting? I looked so pale, you’d think I hadn’t had a vacation in ten years.”
I headbutt the lip of the tool shelf, impatience fizzing through me.Come on, Mildred. Get to the good part. I need the good part.
I’d learned to weaponize secrets in The Middle, but my obsession started back in The Beginning.
The first time my brothers and I squeezed into the crawlspace behind the confessional after Sunday service and listened to Mr. Foster admit to blowing his late wife’s life insurance on hookers and cocaine was the first time my brain stopped hurting. Because suddenly, I didn’t feel so bad about drowning Angelo’s best friend in the pool that summer or setting the outhouse on fire to see how quickly the flames would spread.
I’d realized listening to the sins of others had a way of silencing my own.
But I grew older and more depraved and moreaddicted.The highs became weaker, the trips shorter. I needed to find bigger Band-Aids for bigger wounds.
So I began to dig.
First, I dug deep into our bloodline. Then I dug up the whole coast. When that stopped working, I dug up the state, the country, the world.
I dug until my fingers bled. I dug all the way to fucking China. I dug until I was a full-fledged crackhead, desperately chasing the feeling of my first hit.
“…and it wasn’t even about how handsome he was. We connected on a spiritual level, you know? I’m a Scorpio, he was a Virgo. He loved ramen; I studied Japanese for a semester in school…”
Grinding my jaw, I palm the workbench and close my eyes.
And then along came Rafe and his hotline. Another game to him, a gamechanger for me.
Though he’d created Sinners Anonymous to bond us brothers and scratch a nostalgic itch, he’d also unknowingly hooked an addict up to an infinite supply.
Now, all the sins I could ever ask for are in my ear. A constant stream of bad thoughts to distract me from my own.
Granted, most are dog shit.
Few are potent.
And none are Hers.
I snap my eyes back open and turn up the call to max volume.
“…he was smart. Unfortunately for him, it was in a solve-Soduku-puzzles-over-breakfast way, not in a check-that-my-affair-partner-hasn’t-left-lipstick-on-my-collar way.” Mildred lets out a wistful sigh. “But even if she hadn’t, the stench of her dollar-store perfume walked through my front door before he did, anyway.”
Mildred Black calls like clockwork. And today, she’s called just when my brain hurts the most.
“…so I had his favorite meal cooking on the stove and had lit loads of candles to set the mood. I’d brought his favorite wine too, but it turns out, he hadn’t planned to drink that night.” She scoffs. “I’m sure he regretted that decision when I?—”
The side door connecting the garage to the main house crashes open just when Mildred’s finally getting to the good part.
My agitation bleeds into amusement when I glance up to find my sister-in-law darkening the doorway.
She’s rolling her sleeves up, then throws her curls into a careless bun. When her gaze roves around the garage, I sigh, end the call, and prop my foot up against the wall behind me.
“Gabe.” She pushes over a broom. “What did you do to Wren?”
Her name rakes down my back like glittery pink nails on a chalkboard. Hearing her name aloud, through someone else’s mouth, stings.
But Rory notices these things. So I retrieve the cigarette tucked behind my ear and slide it between my lips to stop them from curling.
“Seems like you already know,” I muse, watching her foot connect with an empty bucket. It skids across the concrete and clatters against the far side of the wall.
I’m not surprised she snitched—she looks like the snitching type—I’m just surprised it’s taken her so long. She kept her mouth shut after she crossed my path three years ago. Said fuck-all when I shoved her house key down her throat in her own hallway.
