Page 36 of The Anguish of the Scottish Lairds
“Who did you see?”
“Sloan. He told me you accepted, and he rejected me. Now I’ve been embarrassed too. I’ve been jilted.”
Lennox’s jaw did that odd wiggling thing it did when he controlled his temper, but his voice came out in an even tone. “You have not been jilted. You refused Sloan. I tried to accept for you, hoping you would court him for a few moons to see if you suited, but he rejected it as much as you did. It was a mutually agreed-upon refusal. You have naught to be embarrassed about, Eva. No one knows but Sloan and me, so stop panicking. You got what you wanted. There is no betrothal. End of story, so stop being dramatic. It’s done as you wished.” He looked down at her, then glanced over his shoulder to see who was close by. “Eva, is it not what you wanted?”
“Aye.”
“Then why are you so upset?”
How did you explain to someone that it was because Sloan told her he refused her? That he would not marry her if she wasn’t willing, which was a perfectly reasonable response. “I don’t know.” She didn’t know how to explain it to him. She needed a female to speak with.
Not her mother. She’d dismiss her feelings.
Not Meg. She wouldn’t understand.
She had no one with whom to share her thoughts, her innermost fears.
Lennox kissed her forehead and said, “Go on inside and warm yourself by the fire. You have nothing to be upset about. All is the way you wanted. I’m sure you will find the right person when you least expect it. That’s exactly how it happened with me.”
She nodded and headed toward the keep, dragging her feet, but nonetheless, going inside, feeling rejected. Yet her brother was right. All was as she wished it to be. No betrothal. No Sloan Rankin.
She sat inside and caught Alycia coming down the staircase. “Alycia, do you have a moment, please?”
“Aye, but outside.” Alycia tugged her out the back door and asked, “What’s wrong?”
She did her best to explain the situation to her one and only friend but wasn’t quite sure how to explain how she felt.
“Are you betrothed to Sloan?” Alycia asked.
“Nay.”
“No betrothal. You refused him?”
“Aye. My brother was going to force me to marry, but then Sloan refused because he didn’t want to insist …”
“So, Lennox would force you, but Sloan wouldn’t? See, I told you he was a good man. You should have accepted. There are not that many noblemen on the isle.”
Eva scowled, not knowing how to explain what she’d meant. “Never mind. I’m fine.”
“Good. I have to change two more beds. We can talk on the morrow.” Alycia left with a smile on her face.
Shoulders slumped, Eva made her way around to the front of the castle toward the stables. She’d left her horse without brushing her down, so she thought to see how the sweet mare was doing. The stable lads were busy handling the guards’ horses, so she slipped inside and headed down the line of stalls until she found the white beauty at the end of the row, which pleased her because she thought at least her horse would listen to her. There was no one else close enough to overhear her words, especially with the chaos taking place at the stable entrance with all the guards and their horses.
“Greetings, Snow Queen. Forgive me for leaving you so quickly.” She reached into the apple barrel and pulled out a nice red one for her mount. Opening the stall door, Eva stepped inside and hugged her pet, wrapping her arms around the horse after giving her the treat, the chomping oddly soothing to her. “I don’t know how to explain it, Queenie, but I feel so foolish. I should have accepted. He is a fine man and a handsome man, but I’m just not ready. The one insulting Englishman wished to look at my breasts, and I don’t wish for anyone to look at them. If I had agreed, would Sloan have asked to see them too? I just don’t understand all this marriage and betrothal business. Mama says I’m old enough, but I don’t think I am. If I married Sloan, I’d have to leave MacVey land and move to Dun Ara. What would I do on Rankin land where I would know no one?”
The horse pawed the ground as if answering her. “No more treats yet, but you are right. I would know Marta and Sheona, but they’re different from me. Marta has two bairns and Sheona is only eight and ten. Younger than I am. She wouldn’t understand what I wish to tell her, that I plan to find my own husband, that he should be the man my father chose for me. That I wish for him to be from a faraway land, that we would marry and travel far, far away.”
Her horse let out a blow, and she jerked her head up. Queenie didn’t blow unless she didn’t like something. “What is it?”
A man Eva didn’t know stood on the other side of the door to the stall, a smile on his face that she didn’t like. “Look, a sweet lass looking for something to do. I have something you can do. Are you not a pretty one?”
“Please leave. Are you a new guard here? I don’t recognize you.” She knew most of them, though occasionally one came in who was a stranger. “Who are you?”
“Doesn’t matter. I’m here to make you happy, sweet one.”
Eva had a bad feeling, so she made her way to the door of the stall, pushing against it to take her leave. Unfortunately, the only way out was past this man. If she could just get by him, she’d run down the line of stalls.
This was not good timing because a large group of guards had just returned from somewhere, keeping the stable lads busy, the sound of horses blocking out anything from this end of the building. The horse in the next stall began to stir as if he could sense her fear.
