Page 41 of The Anguish of the Scottish Lairds
“Lass, I know you would like to hide up here, but it’s not good for you to disappear after such a trial. You must come out eventually. Stay here if you like, but I expect you in the hall for the evening meal.”
“Mama …”
“Aye?” Her mother opened the door.
“What if I don’t have my maidenhead anymore? Is it possible I could have lost it, but I’m not carrying? Then what?”
“Aye, you could have lost it and not be carrying. If you’re not with child, then I don’t care, and no one needs to know anything about what happened. That is, unless your brother finds him and brings him back here. If he doesn’t find him and you are not carrying, then we will continue on as if nothing happened.”
“So, you don’t care?”
“I don’t care if you lost it or not. It does not change you, daughter. I still adore you and always will. It’s just a piece of skin. Foolish, in my opinion, but I am a mere woman.” Her mother indelicately snorted, something that made Eva smile.
“So, nothing would change?”
“Nay. If you were engaged to Sloan, I would postpone your wedding for a moon or two so we would know if you were with child. It’s only fair to let your betrothed know whether you are carrying someone else’s child. Sloan found you, so he is aware of the possibility.”
“Then he’s probably no longer interested in me.”
“I didn’t say that, nor did Sloan say any such thing. I think you should rest and come down for dinner. Besides, the last I heard, you were not interested in the man who saved you from a worse attack.”
“I’ll meet you below stairs for supper, Mama.” There it was again, that mention of the fact that she’d refused Sloan.
And her mother was right. Where would she be if Sloan hadn’t rescued her? But the most important piece of the entire situation was something no one else noticed or mentioned. Sloan had been so gentle, it had surprised her. He was indeed a kind and gentle man.
Her mother left so Eva finished with her hair and climbed out of the tub. She had a sudden urge to hit something, but she knew better than to attack anything in her chamber. A knock sounded on her door and Meg peeked her head in.
“May I come in?”
“Of course, as long as you promise not to ask me what happened. I’m done talking about it.”
“Would you like to go for a walk?”
“I feel like I’d like to punch something. Any ideas where I could do that?”
Meg’s face lit up, and she said, “Aye. I have the perfect solution. How do you feel about learning how to throw an axe? I promised to show you once. How about now?”
Eva thought for a moment, the need to hit or strike something so strong that this could satisfy that need. “Aye. I would love to try it.”
“I promise not to ask questions, but feel free to ask me anything you like, Eva. You’re my new sister, in my mind. Tamsin isn’t here, but you are. I’d like to get to know you better, and I hope we can grow closer.”
Eva switched out of her gown into the leggings that Dyna gave her to wear during archery, donning the matching tunic. “It’s still rather warm, aye?”
“It is. You’ll be more than comfortable in that outfit. I love mine. Lennox doesn’t like me wearing it around because he said it shows my arse, but I like it.”
Eva rolled her eyes. “The tunic hides your arse.”
Meg opened the door and led the way down the stairs. “I made the mistake of bending over in front of him once with my leggings on. He nearly had apoplexy.”
Eva laughed and had to admit that it felt good to laugh. She followed Meg out, hoping to get some relief from this constant angst that had set itself up in her mind. Angry at herself for not remembering exactly what happened, she knew there was no way to find out, but there was also no way to let it go either.
Meg led her to the small area Lennox had set up for her behind the castle where no one could get hurt by flying axes. “Here are the different sized axes Lennox had made for me. I like the smaller one because it is easier to learn with, but once you get used to what it requires, throwing the larger axes is far more satisfying.”
Eva reached for the largest one, but Meg took it back and handed her a midsize one. “Let’s see how far you can throw thisone first. If you look over there, that’s the target, that big piece of wood. If you hit it just right, the axe will stick to it. Here, let me show you how I do it first.”
Eva stood back and watched Meg throw the different axes, demonstrating and explaining her technique with each one, then stood behind her. “Now you try but be careful until you get the feel for it.”
“All right.” Eva picked one up, feeling its weight. “Is it really sharp?” she asked before running her finger down the blade.
