Page 20 of Spiralling Skywards
“He called meSash and told me to fuck off. We’re best friends already. That could be problematic when the wedding happens, should I behisbest man oryourbridesmaid?”
I stared at her blankly, showing no amusement with my glare. “Get out and close the door behind you.”
“But these things need to be considered, they take a lot of planning.”
“It’s our first date, Sash. Now please leave unless you want to watch me shave my fanny?”
She shrugged her shoulders. “Nothing I haven’t helped you out with before.”
This was true. Sash and I had booked a last minute holiday to Greece a few years back, and I didn’t have time to get waxed, so being the best, best friend that she was, Sash had obliged.
“Why you shaving the vag, don’t tell me you’re actually gonna let him get near it?”
I tilted my head to the side and let out a long breath. “Of course I’m not gonna let him get near it, it’s our first date. It’s just habit. Legs, vag, and armpits all get shaved before a night out. Now please leave.”
She leaned against the doorframe and bit down on the corner of her bottom lip. Knowing my friend the way I did, I waited to hear what words of wisdom she had for me.
“Go out and enjoy tonight, Sares. Don’t overthink things, it’s a date, you’re doing nothing wrong. It might lead to more dates, it might not. Just go with the flow, yeah?”
I swallowed down the lump in my throat. Sasha was the only person in the world that knew my issues and insecurities when it came to men. Well, the issue wasn’t with men, it was with me.
I chose not to speak and just nodded my head.
“I love you, now go defuzz that bush.”
She closed the door behind her and left me bending over to look between my legs. There was barely anything there. The upside of being a fair-skinned strawberry blonde was that I didn’t have a lot of body hair, so grooming was easy. I didn’t like the fashion of going completely bare down there so I just shaved once every couple of weeks to maintain the landing strip I had going on.
As I stood under the hot water, rinsing conditioner from my hair, I tried not to think too much about what I was doing that night.
A date.
A date with Liam Delaney. Apart from the fact that he was my brother’s business partner, I really knew very little about him.
He was hot, Australian, had a great smile, blue eyes that crinkled when he offered up that great smile, and yeah, did I mention he was hot?
All of that aside, it felt so good to be excited about a date. I wanted to see him again, in fact I couldn’t wait. I usually dated only because I was twenty-two and that was what was expected of single women of my age, when the truth was, I didn’t care. Sure, it was nice to meet new people, try new places but I wasn’t interested in sex, or any other kind of relationship, but Liam, he’d sparked something in me last night. Something that made me want to dress up, look pretty, and go out to have a good time.
Was it sad that I’d never experienced that level of excitement for a man until that point?
Some of the issues I had were caused by my well-meaning but over protective big brother, others were all my own doing.
Even when I was little, Luke had seemed like an adult. I was never asked out at school because all the boys my age were terrified of my brother and his mates. It wasn’t until I was in college that I started seeing Darren, and when I said seeing, that was about all we did. We never went out. Darren was the typical college boy stoner and not one of my better life choices. He skipped most of his classes, campaigned or demonstrated for anything with a cause, and sold weed for a living. He was nothing that I ever wanted, which in my eyes, made him safe.
We’d listen to music at his place. He’d get stoned, and because drugs had never been my thing, I would just leave quietly once he passed out.
I decided after a pint of home brew at a party one night that I was going to let him pop my cherry. I was eighteen and the only person I knew holding on to my V card, and for some reason, I thought that was a bad thing. I wanted it gone, and as Darren was the only thing on offer, I decided he would do. He led me to a bedroom at the party after I’d whispered into his ear that I wanted to go somewhere private. I knew if we waited until we got home, he’d be too stoned or drunk, or both.
We pushed the pile of coats that were lying on the bed to the floor and I laid down.
There was no foreplay, he pulled up my skirt, pulled down his jeans and boxers, spat in his hand and began stroking himself as he swayed and looked down at me. I heard the tear of foil, but I didn’t watch what he was doing. I stared over his shoulder, off into the darkness of the room.
He pulled my knickers to the side and pushed himself inside me.
I felt a pain like no other. Like I was being ripped in half.
“Fuck you’re tight, Sarah,” he groaned.
“I’m sorry. I’m a virgin,” I whispered.
