Page 28 of Spiralling Skywards
I was mortifiedby my behaviour at dinner. That was another reason I avoided alcohol, it turned me into an emotional mess. I overreacted to his comments. Any other woman would’ve been flattered, but me? I threw a hissy fit and stormed off outside. As soon as the cold air hit my face, sobriety kicked in, and I knew I’d fucked up. Liam hadn’t meant anything offensive, and up until that point, I had thought he was the best date I’d ever had. We’d talked about everything and nothing at all nonstop. He’d flirted mercilessly, and I’d enjoyed every second of it. And then the two Cosmos I’d had earlier in the wine bar next door to the restaurant and the wine I’d had at dinner hit me, and my brain just went into melt down, looking for things in what he was saying that weren’t there. Turning his flirting into something darker.
All I had heard was that he’d been talking to Luke and I came up. My mind went straight to the notion that my brother had been telling him about her, aboutourmother. I assumed he thought I was just like her. I got angry, lashed out at Liam, and the whole night could’ve gone to shit.
Except it didn’t, Liam calmed me down, brought me back to his hotel room, and bought me hot chocolate and Hob Nobs. Despite all the protests going on in my head that I was nothing like my mother, there I was, on his bed with my skirt up around my waist rubbing myself over his magnificent hard-on.
His kisses alone were orgasmic. Never in my life had I been kissed the way he kissed me, and I knew for sure that I’d never returned a kiss with so much want, need, and passion.
I felt his fingers tug at the zip on my blouse. It only went halfway down my back, but the front had a fairly low sweetheart neckline. Once he unzipped me, the shoulders would slide off and he would see my boobs spilling out of my balconette bra.
I used all the will I could muster and broke our kiss.
“Liam,” I whispered, impressed by how sexy my voice sounded. It carried a rasp caused by my crying, combined with the desirous need I had coursing through me.
“I know. I know, pretty girl, but fuck me, you are just so gorgeous.”
“I want to. I really do . . .”
“But?”
“You’re my brother’s boss, or business partner, or whatever. This is our first date. I don’t do this. I’m not that kind of girl. Believe me, right now, I really wish I were, but I can’t change who I am.”
“I understand. I really do.”
He didn’t. He was a man with a hard-on and absolutely no clue why I’d stopped things when I did. Even then, he didn’t push me, didn’t ask for just a bit more, and I liked that. My head and my heart both liked that a lot. My vagina on the other hand was still undecided.
We sat in silence for a few seconds with our foreheads pressed together.
“I’m being fair dinkum when I say that I’ve never had such an intense reaction to a woman, Sarah.”
“I have no clue what that even means, but I hope it’s something good.”
I knew without even opening my eyes that he was smiling.
“‘Fair dinkum’ means straight up. I’m being straight up, I’m not bullshitting. I’d really like to see you again.”
My chest felt tight as I drew in a long breath.
“What about my brother?”
“What about him? You’re a grown woman, surely he must realise you go out on dates occasionally and that there are men in your life.”
I shrugged my shoulders and moved to climb off his lap, but he held on to my hips and stopped me.
“Hey, we’re both grown-ups here. Talk to me?”
I felt my cheeks heat. I didn’t want to admit to my lack of experience with men to him on our very first date.
“I’ve never really introduced anyone I dated to my brother. I didn’t really . . .” My face felt like it was on fire as I sat still straddling his lap. He looked right at me, waiting for me to continue.
“I didn’t go out with many boys when I was younger, and then Luke left and went travelling, so he’s never really been around to see me dating anyone. Anyway, that’s not really the issue. I’m more worried about what your working relationship will be like once he knows you’ve taken me out.”
“Taking you out, not taken. I don’t want this to be a one-time thing. I’d really like to see you again and see where this goes. I hear where you’re coming from, though.” He tilted his head to one side and looked all over my face.
“What if we just keep this quiet for now and see how things go?”
And that was exactly what we did. For the next four weeks, we crept around behind my brother’s back. I hadn’t stayed the night with him in his motel room that night, instead he’d called a taxi and rode home with me, delivering me safely to my door before going back to his room alone. The next day, Liam moved in with my brother, and his days were spent with Luke, organising their new business. They’d found office space right by the train station on the edge of town, and were busy setting up computers and hiring staff.
In the evenings, we went to art exhibitions in the city, the theatre, and the cinema. We went to open mic nights in a pub across town, and we even went ice skating. We went anywhere we didn’t think we’d be seen. We talked constantly, telling stories, sharing memories. He was easy to talk to, he never pushed when I decided I’d given up enough information and became quiet. He just moved the conversation along to a different subject. I had a feeling he knew a little about how my mother died, but I never offered him the whole story, and he never asked.
