Page 30 of Spiralling Skywards
Why did him admitting that he wanted to meet my grandparents suddenly make it hard to breathe?
I opened and closed my mouth a few times, before saying, “They’d like that.”
“Why you all the way over there?”
I looked down at the space between us.
“C’mere.” He held open his arms and gestured with his head for me to come to him.
I crawled along the sofa and onto his lap. He adjusted us both until he was sitting with his back wedged into the corner of the sofa and I was sitting betting his stretched out legs, my back against his front.
He wrapped his arms around my middle and said into my ear, “I can hear your brain ticking from here. Stop overthinking everything, put on the film, and drink your wine.”
For a little while, I relaxed back against him and did exactly that, but by the time I was on my third glass, my mind was nothing but constant whirl of self-doubt and loathing.
“Sarah?” I jumped and almost spilt my wine when Liam said my name.
“Where’d you go, pretty girl? You doing okay?”
I swallowed back tears at the concern in his voice. My period was due next week and I wasn’t sure if it was that, the effects of the artificial hormones from the pill coursing through my system, or all the sneaking around behind my brother’s back that had turned me into an emotional mess these past few days, but either way, I felt overly emotional, and it was messing with my head.
“Just been a long week, all this deceit is wearing me out. Luke’s always been there for me, lying to him is hard.”
Once again the communication between my brain and mouth was sadly lacking, and I jumped up and started clearing our plates to hide my embarrassment. I didn’t want him to feel pressured into telling my brother about us. I wanted him to do itwhenandifhe wanted to. After all, he had a whole lot more to lose than I did. I’d just have a pissed off Luke to deal with, whereas Liam could possibly lose part of his livelihood and the new business venture he just moved to the other side of the world to help set up and establish.
Liam followed me to the kitchen, and after I rinsed the plates and cutlery, I handed them to him to stack in the dishwasher. I hadn’t asked him to. He’d just opened the door and waited for me to pass him the plates. It was a simple domestic scene re-enacted between millions of couples around the world every day, but it was a first for us, and the hope and yearning for more simple scenes of domesticity between us in the future caused an ache in my chest.
Liam’s arms slid around my waist as I stood with my back to him and dried my hands at the sink. I’d imagined a man doing this to me since I started reading Nan’s Mills and Boon romance novels when I was about twelve. I’d so desperately wanted to grow up and have a “normal” life. A hard-working husband who loved and adored me. A spotlessly clean house. Two perfect children—a boy who looked like his dad and a girl who maybe resembled me in some small way. My husband would call out, “Honey, I’m home,” when he came through the door each night, and I’d call out, “In here.” He’d walk into the kitchen and find me at the sink, wrap his arms around my waist from behind, kiss my neck, and whisper into my ear . . .
“Fuck, you smell delicious.”
Never did I imagine the dream man of my pre-teen fantasies would be a six-foot-tall, blue-eyed Aussie, but if that was what life had planned for me, then I’d take it. I just hoped that I was something along the lines of what he’d been dreaming of.
I was wearing a two sizes two big sweatshirt that hung off one shoulder, and Liam ran his nose from the curve of my neck up to the back of my ear, inhaling deeply the whole way.
“You have the softest skin, and I love the way it responds to my touch. I love the way it flushes and goose bumps spread out from wherever I make contact.”
He retraced his movements, except this time he scraped his teeth over my flesh, pulling the tiniest of moans from somewhere inside me. I tilted my neck more to the side, giving him better access. I felt dizzy and lightheaded, almost as if I were floating. It was a sensation I’d experienced almost every time he’d kissed me those previous few weeks, and I’d finally worked out it was desire that I was feeling. At twenty-two years of age, I at last knew how it felt to want a man.
Liam moved his hips, pressing himself against me. I closed my eyes and waited for what would come next.
“Babe, we need to talk.”
That wasn’t what I was expecting, and a pain shot through my temple as the blood pumping through my veins turned to ice.
“I can’t stand this anymore.”
I held my breath and placed my hand over the spot where it felt like my heart had stilled and was just hanging in my chest, expectantly waiting for the words that would either crush or revive it.
“I hate not having any privacy. I’m a thirty-year-old bloke. My days of pashing in a car are behind me.”
He turned me around so I was facing him and looked at me, but I was too afraid to meet his gaze. I knew that if I turned my eyes to his, he’d see the disappointment and so much more that I couldn’t hide.
“I’ve spent a bit of time looking at properties this week. Prices in this area are the lowest they’ve been all year.”
My heart slowly restarted and began to pick up its normal rhythm as he lifted my chin and held it between his index finger and thumb, forcing my eyes to meet his.
“I know these past few weeks have been intense and that tomorrow’s your day off, but I was wondering if you’d come with me and have a look at a few places?”
