Page 111 of Spiralling Skywards
I was on my knees in front of her by then, her drunk legs, hanging limp and bare off the end of the bed.
I kissed her over the top of her knickers right between the legs. She raised up her head and smiled at me. I gave her a wink. She winked back, or at least attempted to, and laid back down.
I’d had a few beers too many myself that night and was still trying to work out what kind of problem blokes had when they woke up in the morning. There was only one I could think of.
“A hard-on? The gases in your belly give you morning wood so you have to go and use the other toilet to hide it?”
“No, Liam,” she shrieked. I’d never heard her laugh so hard before. “Ohhhmmmgeeeohhhhgeeee.”
I watched with amusement as she curled on to her side and laughed, coughed, laughed some more, and eventually gave herself hiccups.
“No, no morning wood. I do not have a willy, so no wood. No. It’s that other thing, you know, that other thing that men do when they first get up for a wee in the morning.”
It clicked.
“You mean fart? The gases in your belly make you fart when you have a wee in the morning. So you use the other bathroom because you’re scared I’ll hear you?”
She covered her face with her hands and nodded. Now it was my turn to laugh.
“Sarah, I’ve had my tongue buried in your pussy and my fingers knuckle deep in your arsehole, do you actually think I care if I hear you fart.”
“I don’t care whether you don’t care or not. I care,” she said from where she was still hiding behind her hands.
I crawled up her body and pulled them away, revealing her crimson chest, neck, and cheeks.
“Look at me, bub.” She opened her eyes, closed them, and then opened them again. I had no idea if she could focus on me.
“I’ve heard you fart, more than once.” She opened her mouth to argue with me.
“You fart all the time in your sleep.”
“Ohhhemmmmgeeee. Nooo, you’re lying. Please tell me you’re lying. How embarrassing.”
She threw her head back and stared at the ceiling.
“Don’t be stupid. It’s only you and me here. Whatever goes on between us when we’re on our own, stays between us.” I kissed her nose and each of her eyelids.
“Tell ya what, how about we get some music in here, then you can just play it when you think the gases might be about to escape.”
She sat up and threw her arms around my neck.
“You’d do that for me?”
“Anything for you, pretty girl. Anything at all.”
“Thanks, Liam. You’re the best boyfriend in the world.”
Five minutes later she was both snoring and farting as she slept.
I looked down at where the knickers I’d taken off her last night were laying on the floor. They were purple, I picked them up and read what it said across the arse.
“B is for Bitch & That’s Ms Bitch to you.”
I pulled off my jocks and pulled on her knickers, turning the music up loud, I stalked into the bathroom. She had her back to me as she stood at the sink washing her hands but spotted me in the mirror. I did the sexiest dance I could muster. Grinding all around and against her as she stood totally naked and watched me, laughing as she did. I bent at the waist and wiggled my Ms Bitch arse in front of her and she slapped it.
I turned back around and simply watched her laugh. She was naked and bare to me in every possible way, no clothes, no make-up, her hair a tangled mess and looking every bit the fresh faced twenty-two-year-old she was. It wasn’t the way I’d planned to do it, but the moment was just perfect, too perfect to waste.
I dropped to my knees and kissed her belly button. She gently ran her hands over my head and through my hair. When I tilted my face up to look at her, she was looking down at me, and for a few seconds, I was once again overwhelmed by how much I loved this girl.
