Page 63 of Spiralling Skywards
“Not well. She was the product of her mum’s affair with a married man.”
“Fair dinkum?”
“Yeah, straight up. She was with him before he was married, and they had Luke together, they split, and he got married to someone else, but they couldn’t stay away from each other. They had a long-term affair, and when she told him she was pregnant with Sarah, he disappeared. Left his wife and other two kids as well as Sarah’s mum and Luke.”
“Fuck me, Lee, sounds like a plot line from Sons and Daughters.”
“Yeah, tell me about it.”
“So what’s she said about the pregnancy?”
“She doesn’t know yet. Luke and Will took off with her and left me and Liv to talk.”
We were both quiet for a few seconds. I was actually unable to speak as the guilt at letting Sarah leave the way she did ate me up.
“I fucked up, Mags. I really fucked up.”
“You’re telling me.”
“Not with Olivia, although that is one almighty fuck-up. I fucked up with Sarah. I walked into that house promising her the world, but the second I saw Olivia standing there, I couldn’t even look at her. She thinks I’ve had nothing to do with Liv for the two years we’ve been separated.”
“Yeah, well she’s not the only one, Lee. Why the fuck would you go back there? She’s toxic, you know that. Rumour has it that she and Markham have split up.”
I let out a long breath. It did nothing to ease the tightness in my chest.
“She turned up at my office and offered it on a plate. I viewed it as closure and a one up on Markham, so I took what was on offer. Twice.”
“Please tell me you rubbered up?”
“Of course I did, both times. That’s what I don’t understand.”
“She lying. She’s either not pregnant and just trying to get you back, or she is and it’s not yours and she’s just looking to hang on it you.”
“She’s threatening to terminate if I don’t go back to her.”
“What? That fucking moll. Fuck, Liam. What a bitch. What the fuck are you gonna do?”
“That was a lot of fucks.”
“Yeah, well that cunt makes me sweary.”
Despite my dire circumstances, my sister managed to make me laugh, well, smile at least. We’d always been close. I loved her and her twin, Marie, equally, but Mags and I had always gotten along better. Marie was always the grown-up, always the bossy one, telling me and Mags what to do and trying to keep us out of trouble.
“What if itismine? What if it is my baby and she gets rid of it? Even if it’s not mine, she’s still putting that baby’s life all on my head.” I started to speak faster as the panic I’d been holding down began to escape. “I can’t do that. I can’t be responsible for her making that choice. What do I do? What the fuck do I do?”
“Okay, just calm down here for a minute. Let’s think about this. She turns up at your office and what? Just offers you sex?”
“No, she said she wanted me back, wanted to try again. I sort of led her to believe that I was maybe willing to try. I fucked her twice and then when she fell asleep, I left her on the sofa in my office, and fucked off, taking all her clothes with me.”
“Ha. Love it.”
“I left for England the very next morning and served her with divorce papers the following day.”
“It’s not your kid. I’m telling you now, it isnotyour kid. She turned up at your office the same week Markham dumped her skinny arse and went back to his wife. I bet she was already pregnant and she fucked you just so she could put the blame on you.”
My stomach began to churn with the hope and possibility that Maggie could be right.
“You think?”
