Page 79 of Spiralling Skywards
I nodded.
“When you took Will’s hand and left, Liam looked devastated, and it broke my heart. I knew then the reason he’d ignored my calls and messages. You. My husband is in love withyou.”
She didn’t say it angrily or accusingly, but she did say it through tears, which she continuously attempted to dab away on her hanky.
Despite the lack of accusation in her tone, I still felt the need to defend myself.
“I didn’t know.” I shook my head and let out a long breath. “He didn’t tell me he was married until Friday, and he never mentioned the baby until after he’d seen you last night, well he never actually told me, I guessed.” My words came out in a whoosh, tumbling over each other.
I didn’t know.
It wasn’t my fault.
I wasn’t like her.
“Last night?” she questioned. “You saw him last night? After you left your brother’s?”
“Yeah, he came here.”
“I see. Well, there you have it, his feelings for you obviously run very deep.”
Not deep enough for him to be honest with me.
She started to cry again.
“I understand now. I won’t fight you for him, Sarah. I’ve already had a few issues with this pregnancy, and I don’t need any more stress in my life.”
“How far along are you?”
Why the fuck did I ask that?
“Just twelve weeks. We never thought it was possible, we tried for two whole years when we were first married, it tore us apart in the end. Funny that it should happen now after everything we’ve been through.”
Yeah, fucking hilarious.
What was even funnier was that Liam had told me none of this. He’d told me they’d both been unfaithful. He never once mentioned that they’d been trying for a baby. “So you won’t be terminating the pregnancy then? If you and Liam don’t get back together, you’ll still go ahead with everything?”
Her eyes widened and she shook her head.
“No, that’s not even – wow, no. That’s not even something I would consider. Despite the circumstances, I’m really looking forward to this baby.”
I didn’t know him. I didn’t know him at all. He’d lied about so much I could hardly process what she was telling me.
I watched while she constantly rubbed her belly with the palm of her hand as she continued.
“I just need to accept that our marriage is truly over. I just wanted to meet you, Sarah, I hope you understand? If you’re going to be a part of my child’s life, I just thought it only right that I got to meet you first.”
I shook my head while she was still speaking.
“No. We’re done. Liam and I are over. If he doesn’t want to be with you, it has nothing to do with me. We’re not together. We’ve only known each other a month anyway. It was nothing serious, and it’s over now.”
The defensive word vomit spewed from my mouth. While she dabbed at her eyes delicately, I used the sleeve of my hoodie to cuff away my own snot and tears.
“He told me he hadn’t seen you in two years, not until you came to his office the night before he caught his flight to come here. He told me he’d sent you divorce papers, that you’d been served.”
I felt like I was losing control, like I was spiralling and spiralling downwards but instead of the ground coming towards me, it was just more sky. My head spun. I felt sick and I shook.
“Why? Why would he do that? My heart’s broken at his betrayal, but I’ll be honest, I’d still take him back. I love him enough to have him any way I can get him.”
And there it was, exactly the way I’d imagined my mum wanted my dad, was exactly the way Olivia wanted Liam. She’d probably fallen pregnant on purpose, thinking it would win him back, and just like my dad, Liam had walked away. Their child was me. And just like me, their child would grow up with all the insecurities and hang ups that I did and there was absolutely no way I could be a part of that.
I watched as she stood in my kitchen, her shoulders shaking as she sobbed.
I’d done that. I had caused this woman, this pregnant woman, untold heartbreak.
I needed her to leave. I couldn’t look at her or the devastation that I’d caused. Having her crying in front of me—this woman whose husband I had been sleeping with—was a reminder that I was, in fact, so very much like my mother.
