Page 46 of Spiralling Skywards: Fading
“Any time, Sunshine, any time.”
“Thank you.”
We were both quiet for a few seconds, and the familiar but hated awkwardness crept in.
“Anyway, I won’t—”
“I miss you, Sarah. I had to get away. I couldn’t . . .” He let out a heavy breath. “I’m glad that you’re happy. I want that for you. It’s just hard to watch coz it’s not with me. So, yeah. Moving away was the best thing I could do. Especially for myself.”
“I’m sorry, Will. I really am.”
“It is what it is.”
I didn’t know how to respond to all of that and chose to remain quiet again.
“So,” he said way too loud and upbeat, which made me flinch a bit. “When’s this baby due? Boy or girl? Will he be a Gooner?”
“Seventh of July. We don’t know, and no. He’ll be a red.”
“United? Tell me you’re joking?”
“Afraid not.”
“Poor kid.”
“I’m sure he’ll survive. After all, didn’t they just win the league for the tenth time or something?”
I took a swig from the bottle of water I had sitting on my tray table but almost choke when Will says, “Oh please don’t tell me you’re gonna call the poor kid Ronaldo or something sad like that?”
Images of my vibrator popped into my head, and after a minor coughing fit, I managed to reply.
“Nope, I definitely don’t think that’s at the top of Liam’s list of names.”
It would, in fact, be right at the bottom, after Will and before Adam of course.
“Okay, well I best get back to work.”
“You do that. I’ll get back to playing solitaire on my laptop and staring out the window.”
The line went quiet, and I thought he was gone but then I hear, “I know you don’t wanna hear it, but if it ever don’t work out, you know you can always call me, right? I’ll always be here for you, Sunshine, always.”
“I know, Will. Thank you.”
***
I woke with a start from a vivid dream where I was trying to lasso a horse. In the dream, I got too close, and the horse kicked me in the belly. My dream self wasn’t pregnant, but the pain of being kicked was excruciating regardless.
I sat up with my heart pogoing around inside my chest and phantom pains twisting in my abdomen. A chair scrapped across the floor, and then Liam’s face appeared in front of me, chasing the dream away.
“What time is it?” I asked with a croaky voice.
“Almost seven. I brought Chinese with me, but I didn’t wanna wake you.” He tucked my hair behind my ears and held my face in his hands as he placed a soft kiss on my lips.
“I fucking miss you, pretty girl,” he said, dropping another kiss right below my ear.
“You don’t miss me, you miss fucking me.”
“That too, but I miss you in my bed. I miss waking up with you spread all over me, your smell’s fading from the sheets. Did I tell you I had to spray them with your perfume?”
