Page 65 of Spiralling Skywards: Fading
I kissed Lori, and we were on our way a few minutes later. I called Liam and Luke continuously while Maggie drove, but neither of them ever picked up. I called Nan to let her know we had left, and then I called the hotel where the boys were staying and left a message for them at the front desk. Maggie dropped me at the doors of the emergency department, and with my heart hammering in my chest and on very shaky legs, I walked as quickly as I could to where the nurse I’d spoken to on the phone told me to go. I found Nan alone and pacing in a small waiting room.
I wanted to be brave and strong. I wanted to be the support I knew my nan needed right then, but as soon as I saw her, my legs felt like they were about to give way and the sob that heaved from my chest almost choked me.
“Oh, Sarah, you shouldn’t have driven all this way in the dark in your condition.”
My nan pulled me into her arms and swayed us from side to side, holding me to her while I cried. Exactly the way she had when I was a child.
“Maggie drove. Where is he, can we see him?”
She held me out at arm’s length and brushed the tears away from my face with her thumbs.
“He’s gone for scans—he was—it’s not good Sarah. His heart was stopped for a long time.”
She led us both over to sit down on the chairs around the edge of the room.
“They’ll come and fetch us when he’s back.”
Maggie walked into the waiting room seconds before a nurse came to tell us that Grandad was back and had been moved into a room in the intensive care unit. Maggie came with us as we took the lift up to the next floor. She went to the small waiting room up there while the nurse showed us to the room.
“The doctor will be along to see you shortly, she’s just looking at all of the results from the tests.”
I stood at the door, too scared to go in. I could hear the bleeping of the machines and what I assumed was the sound of a ventilator. I could see the end of the bed where I knew my grandad was lying, but I didn’t want to see any more. I didn’t want this to be real, and I didn’t want to do this on my own.
My husband should be here with me, and I was so fucking angry with him right then.
“Oh, Archie. I’m so sorry, my love. I’m so sorry.” I heard Nan sob from inside the room.
I remained in the doorway and cried.
“Excuse me, are you here for Mr Carter?” I turned to see a tall woman in scrubs standing behind me. I wiped my face on the back of my hands before speaking.
“I’m his granddaughter, Sarah Delaney.” I didn’t hold my hand out because it was wet with snot and tears. She seemed to understand the lack of gesture and gave me a small nod. “I’m Deborah Stokes, the doctor that’s been looking after him.”
“It’s Archie, his name is Archie.”
She nodded again. “Can we talk?”
I panicked and forgot to breathe. My head started to spin and dots appeared in front of my eyes. I must have swayed, because Deborah gently took hold of my elbow.
“Let’s get you sat down shall we.”
“She’s thirty-two weeks pregnant with twins and has high blood pressure.” I heard Maggie’s voice tell the doctor, but I had no idea the direction it was coming from. Both my vision and hearing were distorted, and I knew I needed to sit down before I fell down.
“Can I have some help here?” Someone shouted, and I shook my head weakly, trying to clear the fog.
I was eased back into a chair, and then someone was listening to my heart and taking my blood pressure.
“One hundred forty-nine over ninety-nine. Higher than I’d like but not too excessive. How’s her heart rate?”
“Ninety-five.”
“Sarah, what’s wrong, what’s going on?” It was Nan, but I couldn’t see past the doctor standing in front of me.
“Its okay, Mai, she was just a little dizzy,” Maggie answered for me, and it was only then that I realised it was her that had been holding my hand.
After a glass of water and a few minutes sitting, I felt a lot less shaky. I needed to pull myself together. I couldn’t have Nan worrying about both me and Grandad.
I took a few breaths and tried to tell the doctor I was okay to walk, but she insisted I use a wheelchair to get around the hospital. Maggie, took control of pushing me, and wheeled me into Grandad’s room.
