Page 108 of Spiralling Skywards: Fading
The line went quiet again because I didn’t know what to say.
“Go see her. The boys are good with me. I’ll keep them as long as it’s necessary and don’t be worrying about work either.”
“Did you manage to get hold of Sasha? She needs to know, I think Sarah’s gonna need her.”
“Nah, but I’ll keep trying.”
“Okay. What d’ya tell the boys?”
“That mum and dad are having some grown-up time.”
“Cool, thanks. Give them all a kiss for me.”
“Will do.”
I ended the call, took in a few deep breaths, and made my way back up to Sarah’s hospital room. When I opened the door, Sarah was lying on her side facing away from me. She was crying quietly, so I toed off my boots and climbed into bed beside her, pulling her carefully against my chest.
I stroked her hair back from her face and kissed her temple.
“Don’t cry, pretty girl. We’ve got this. We’ll get through it together.”
She started to cry harder.
“You came back.”
“I couldn’t stay away. I’m so sorry for the things I said.”
“What did I do, Liam? What did I do?”
“You fucked up, bub. I’m not gonna pretty it up for you. You fucked up big time. I’m hurt and beyond angry, but I love you. We can work through this. I wanna make you better so that we can makeusbetter.”
“What if I can’t get better? I’m so scared that I’ll end up just like my mum. I wanna get better, but I don’t know how.”
“I don’t think it’s something you’re gonna be able to do by yourself, bub. You’re gonna need help, and we’ll get you that help.
“I wanna be happy again. I lost myself, the girl I used to be, and I can’t find her. I want to, Liam, I really fucking do.”
“Then we’ll look together.”
“Why would you do that? Why would you want me after what I did?”
“Would you not want me back if the tables were turned?”
“Of course I would. I love you. It was never about not loving you. It’s because I love you so much that it made me think I was doing the right thing. It all seemed so right yesterday. It all made perfect sense. Today, I just feel pathetic. I’m taking up a hospital bed that somebody really sick might need.”
“Only you would think like that. You are sick. You need this bed as much as someone that’s had a heart attack. You’re sick, you need help, and we’re gonna get it for you.”
“I’m so sorry about the baby.”
“I’m sorry, too. You should’ve come to me, but I understand why you didn’t. I’m sorry that I made you feel like you couldn’t talk to me.”
Her sobs gave her the hiccups, and I counted between each one as we lay quietly together.
“I need to tell you something else.”
My stomach churned as I contemplated what she might be about to tell me.
“Go on . . .”
